Imperfection is the New Pink

Currently...

2012-02-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Reading...

Shine by Lauren Myracle. I've been putting off reading this book for months because of the subject matter. I figured it was about time I remembered I was a grownup and finally read it. So far...it's amazing.

Eating...

So freaking good. Proceed with caution.

Hearing...

Damn These Vampires by The Mountain Goats. I originally started listening to this band after both my friend Jessica and New York Times bestselling author John Green sang their praises. Now I can't go a day without listening to this song.

Watching...

Downton Abbey. I am OBSESSED with this show. It's about life in English countryside at the turn of the 20th century. Nothing about that screams "get obsessed"..yet I completely 100% am.

Dreaming...

I really want a Kindle Fire. Actually, I really want an iPad but shelling out $800 for something goes against everything my single mother's budget stands for so I've been thinking of splurging on the Kindle because I am not a fan of Barnes and Noble so the Nook is definitely out.

What are your current obsessions?

Snippets

2012-02-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

I'm going to a SuperBowl party today. Not because I love football or even know who's playing, but because I love my friends and relish any chance I get to spend with them. Oh and I also love guacamole and I volunteered to bring it to guarantee that I would definitely be eating some today. The only thing I know about today's game other than Madonna performing in the halftime show is that Gisele Bundchen's husband is playing and that he is also the chick who played Natasha on Sex and the City's baby daddy. See..I know things.

I think I'm officially over my high of seeing John Green for the 2nd time. Well truthfully...not really but I'm telling myself it's ok to let it go now. I commemorated this by buying yet another signed copy of The Fault in Our Stars that I saw on sale at Target. It was in purple...I had to! PS-Still #1 on the New York Times Bestseller List!

So apparently, former Veronica Mars star Kristen Bell loves sloths. I never really thought about them outside of the Ice Age movies and you know...as one of the seven deadly sins, but her reaction is definitely worth taking a second look.

Can you feel the frenzy beginning?

Source

Lenny has already won me over as Cinna based on this still shot! Plus he's wearing a vest!

I am so excited for this movie I can't even take it!

Oh and the newest trailer? Perfection.

Why isn't it March 23rd already??? Would anyone like to reread the series as the film gets closer and discuss?

Friday Five (3)

2012-02-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

So it's February already? How did that happen?!?

1. I'm not going to lie guys, this week has been a bear. I had a bit of emotional slap in the face and I'm still exhausted from the flu I had two weeks ago. Has anyone else noticed that as you get older you just stay freaking sick? I remember in my 20s going to work, school, and studying for a final all with 101 temperature. Now if I so much as get the sniffles I need to go to the hospital. This part of getting older sucks...though I do appreciate the lower car insurance.

2. This summer I've decided I want to take the princess on vacation, just her and I. I have no idea where we would should go though. I want somewhere relatively inexpensive that we can get to easily and where she'll have fun and maybe learn a few things too. I am debating on us either road tripping to Palm Springs or flying up to Seattle or to Texas since we have family there. It's a toss up and I'm making a Pro/Con list to decide. How Rory Gilmore am I?

3. Once a week is Movie Night in our house and the princess and I switch off picking a movie. I am not always thrilled by the princess' choice as there are only so many of those golden retriever puppies films one woman can watch before debating committing herself, but we stick to the rule and watch without complaining. I was excited when last night was my turn and we watched The Goonies which is probably one of my favorite films from childhood. Thankfully she loved it and had a great response to all of my favorite parts. I loved seeing it again too, only it sadly reminded me that I seriously need this shirt like yesterday.

4. February is the month I usually dread because it's the month where I decide to get back into shape. Have you ever heard the term January Joiner? Well when all those peeps who get so gung ho about the New Year start to answer the siren call of their remote by January 20th, I'm usually back on the health and fitness train picking up where they left. I'm doing it again this year and have been steadily working out at home for the past week. It hasn't been easy due to still being a bit sick but I want to get in a regular routine of working out and eating well so I can be a fabulous this summer. So begins the neverending Mission: DeHeiferization.

5. Since I mentioned the Urban Dictionary, on her blog a few weeks ago, my friend Jessica wrote a post for Road Trip Wednesday about pseudonyms, nom de plumes, and pen names writers may want to have or need to have and why. I grew up with a love/hate relationship with my name and have now as an adult come to love it and understand that it's the exact perfect name for me. As a writer, I struggle with whether or not I should use a pen name because given its extremely ethnic nature, it's inevitable that I be pigeon-holed into the "Books Black People Like" section of the book store. No major decisions yet, but I'd love to use my name and have it not matter.

As I was thinking about my name, I decided to look up it's meaning in the Urban Dictionary. Side note-I highly recommend doing this if you need an ego stroke as most name definitions tend to be positive. From a baby book I purchased while gestating the princess, I learned that my name in Aramaic means "Child of the People" and in Japanese means "Child of the Sun." Here's how a little snippet of how the Urban Dictionary defines me:

Tameka: the tell-it-how-it-is type of girl. She'll always have your back, even when you aren't looking good. She will have you hooked and drooling over her with the flash of her smile. Beware of her honesty, it is blatant but once you get over that fact, she's a great friend to have on your side.

I think the Urban Dictionary has a crush on me! What's your Urban Dictionary definition?

Happy Weekend Everyone!

A Moment of Zen

2012-02-02T17:04:00.000-08:00

Not because it's Black History Month, or because I'm an emo chick who likes poetry or for any other reason that today, these words are the balm for my wounded soul.

For the curious...when someone attempts to invalidate my awesome, these are the words running through the back of mind reminding to never be anything less than 100% myself, because I. am. amazing.

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame

I rise

Up from a past that's rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise.

- Maya Angelou

Booknerd SuperBowl

2012-01-30T05:00:00.000-08:00

I have looked forward to the Tour de Nerdfighting with no shortage of anticipation since the day John Green announced the title of his 4th solo novel, The Fault in Our Stars a few months ago. I knew that John would most likely go on a tour to promote the book and that when he made his way to Los Angeles (or San Diego, Fresno, Las Vegas or anywhere else that was within a few hours drive of where I live) I would definitely be right there.

First, I must mention that this book you guys, THIS BOOK. It is amazing. Brilliant. Heartbreaking. Staggering. Hopeful. Life changingly beautiful. It is so fantastic it has secured a place in my life and in my heart as one of my favorite books of all time. My expectations were naturally very high given that JG is my favorite author in the known universe and I pretty much fangirl the freak out whenever his name is mentioned (true story)...and this book you guys, THIS BOOK met every one of those expectations and bitch slapped them with it's pimp hand.

Appropriately Photoshopped image is appropriate.
Source

I don't want to give a full on review of TFiOS because I will end up telling you all of my favorite parts and spoiling it for you, such is my level of emotion as far as THIS BOOK is concerned. One of my friends who's not a card carrying member of Nerdfighteria asked me what the book was about and I thought about it and told her the same thing I'm about to tell you. This book is about two teenagers with cancer, but not in a Nicholas Sparks way. Do with that what you will.*

Also read my friend Jennie's review of TFiOS here, as it pretty much sums up a lot of my feelings.

In preparation of my SuperBowl, I of course pre-ordered a copy of TFiOS via Amazon, and then found out that for the event I would need to purchase an additional copy which would serve as my entrance into the show. I naturally had no problem with this but was not ok with having to wait until 16 days after the book was released to read it so I kept my original Amazon order and the book (already signed) arrived on my doorstep as ordered on January 10th. I read it in around 4 hours.

After reading it I started telling everyone in my social networking circle about it and how much they needed to read it...like immediately. I noticed more and more people picking it up and falling in love with it and a lot of those people ended up going to the Tour de Nerdfighting event in their town so I was even more psyched for when my turn came after seeing everyone else's pictures and videos.

My friends Kelsey and Smash were able to attend an amazing ALA event where they got the chance to hear John speak about education to a smallish crowd of 200 or so. Please hop on over to Kelsey's blog to read all about it and see her amazing photos! You'll wish you were there...I know I certainly did!

My friends Crystal and Becca both went to the actual Tour de Nerdfighting events in Alabama and Arizona, respectively and were able to experience the Nerdfighting goodness as well.

On the day of the show I was not 100% myself thanks to the Epic Illness of 2012 that I experienced the previous week but I was determined to go. I braved traffic on the 405 and the 10 and arrived at a middle school in Santa Monica with plenty of time to spare before the show. The line was of course already around the entire front of the school in preparation of the show starting.

I met up with Jessica and our friend Claire at a nearby pub where we hung out until just before the show was scheduled to start and then got in the still epically long line to wait our turn to enter. Our fellow line goers were all eleventeen and made me feel incredibly ancient but no matter...we were where we needed to be, and I got a (super dark and grainy) picture of the Tour de Nerdfighting van.

Envy my excellent photography skills much?

The show was naturally a lot of fun. My favorite part happened in the beginning when John came out in a gray suit and fancy grown up shoes to read from TFiOS. He actually read one of my favorite parts of the book...in the interest of of not spoiling I'll just say that it was the part when those two non Nicholas Sparksian teenagers I mentioned before first meet. After the reading, John spoke a bit about why he wrote the book and what inspired him to write it. None of this I remember accurately other than John Green was saying things and I was in a dreamlike state of awe.

John Green reading to me!! (and maybe a few other people)

Next, John introduced Hank who played a few of his songs. Then John came out in a t-shirt, jeans, and blue tennis shoes to answer questions. Then Hank played another song while wearing a pink leotard/tutu/blonde wig combination, then they both answered questions, all while playing this continuous game where they answer questions for 10 minutes and when the timer runs out, the person still talking gets shocked...this time it was Hank, then he sang a couple more songs, they closed the show, then encored by singing (I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles by The Proclaimers.**

Look at him...just talking and wearing a t-shirt and being awesome.

We got Hankrolled.

Just before Hank got shocked. John took such delight in this happening it was hard to feel sorry for Hank.

After the show was over there was a signing. We were in the back half of the theater and the line went by rows so we ended up waiting over two hours for our turns to speak with John and Hank. Given the lateness of the hour, and the advanced age of Jessica and myself, this was a bit of a rough patch as we mature ladies were out way past our bedtime. Luckily we were surrounded by our fellow Nerdfighters and were able to strike up a few conversations which made the time sort of fly by.

Special note here to a sweet girl named Ava who Jessica met in the ladies' room. She mentioned to her that she reads both of our blogs and later on as she was leaving she came over and said hello to me and thanked Jessica and I for "all we do for the YA community." Um...tears. I almost hugged her but felt like that might have been weird. It absolutely made my night that a) she thinks I contribute to the YA community and b) that more than 12 people read my blog.

I also bought a t-shirt. In fact it's the exact same t-shirt that John is sporting in this recent video. Coincidence? I think not.

As we finally took our turn in line, I started to get nervous. Not just regular old nervous either, more like cotton mouth, rapid heartbeat nervous and I wondered if I would actually be able to speak to John Green or just shout random epithets out at him. Jessica went first and I could barely hear what she was saying to him over the nervous chatter that was in my brain. I decided to take a deep breath, chill the eff out, and try my best to not to be completely spastic, weird, and ridiculous.

Signing my books, trying to remember where he's experienced the magic that is me before.

Adjusting his glasses so he could see me better...see the look of recognition on his face?

Once again...he's captivated by me.

Reader, I did it! I managed to talk to him like a person in complete command of the English language!

I had 30ish seconds with John Green and I told him he was my favorite author and that his book for me (for a lot of incredibly personal reasons) was amazing and exactly the right book for me at exactly the right time. He thanked me, smiled at me, and completely made me forget about the long line, the long drive I had ahead of me, and basically all other mere mortal males. It was heavenly. I'm still on a high from it and don't see myself coming down for a very long time.

My favorite Vlogbrothers videos are often the ones where John and Hank are together. Watching this show reminded me of why. They have such a great chemistry and energy together and are obviously very close and have a mutual love and respect for one another. That's why their YouTube channel is so gosh darned effective and why they filled an entire auditorium in the heart of Los Angeles on a random Thursday night. The community they have managed to create is nothing short of amazing and I consider myself extremely lucky to be a part of it.

So in short, read The Fault in Our Stars which as I may have mentioned earlier is amazing and Don't Forget to Be Awesome but if you're reading this, I'm sure that means you probably already are.***

*And by that I mean read this book immediately.
**There is no getting this song out of my head. It's there...forever.
***I say probably because if you're the person who landed here after searching for "cocoa pink breasts" we probably have very different agendas.

Bookish Vlog

2012-01-28T19:42:00.000-08:00

My friend Julie came up with this vlog tag which is all about books. Hope you enjoy and feel free to respond with your own answers and leave me a link in the comments!!

Forgive this horrible thumbnail pic of me, it is sadly the best of the 3 they gave me. Seriously YouTube? Seriously?

Questions:
1) Show us or tell us about the most valuable book in your collection - either for monetary or sentimental value.
2) What are your literary pet peeves?
3) What is your favorite non-book literary possession?
4) Show us/tell us about where you usually read.
5) Give up a literary confession - something you do that would drive other readers nuts.
6) What book/genre is your guilty pleasure?
7) Describe your biggest fangirl moment relating to books.
8) What book have you reread the most times?
9) How many books do you own?
10) Show us/tell us about how your books are organized.

Personal Princess Palace

2012-01-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

One of my biggest regrets as a parent is that I didn't have a beautifully decorated nursery for the princess when she was born. We had the basics and we had each other which is really all we needed, but I still would have loved for my little princess to have her own personal tower.

While she was with her dad this holiday break, I decided to give myself the project of finally getting her room together. I bought some new to her furniture thanks to my best friend's parents and hired some guys to move it for me, then I went to the decorating mecca that is Target and went to work.

I didn't really have a picture in my head of what I wanted the room to look like. I just knew I wanted something very tween oriented to coincide with the princess getting older and being interested in so many new things. Like the genius mom I am, I asked her what kind of bedroom she wanted and she begged for a "superstar room".

Given her hilarious and super excited reaction, I think I delivered.

Desk and bookshelf hutch

Nightstand with family pics and her snow globe collection. Oh and that awesome lamp.

A few stuffed animal friends...she is still a little girl after all.

New bed with Rocky and CeCe bedding...they're on "Shake it Up!" in case you didn't know.

Grinning from ear to ear in her new room.

She wanted you to get the full effect of how she would enjoy her room. Seriously.

I'm so happy it came out so well and that she loves it. Sometimes Mom gets it right. :)

Wanderlust

2012-01-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

I've noticed a trend recently of all of my friends either going on or coming back from, or in the middle of planning fabulous vacations. While I'm super happy for them and always love to hear of their plans, I'm also a little envious because I haven't really traveled too much in my life.

In my family growing up, we didn't do the whole vacation thing. Summers were spent at mostly at home with a few beach and amusement park trips scattered throughout. One year, my mom sent my brother and I to spend the summer in Hawaii with my aunt. That was fun but a lot like summer at home...just in Hawaii.

Luckily last year I got to travel a bit to Las Vegas, Georgia, and Alabama. In fact despite my horrific return journey home from the south, it gave me a bit of a travel bug and I'd been thinking about all the places I'd love to travel ever since then. Here are just a few.

1. New York City

I can't remember what first prompted me to dream of NYC, but it was probably the Eloise books or Home Alone 2. What child wouldn't dream of living Eloise's life or getting a chance to roam around the city without adult supervision? Now that I'm all grown up, I'd love to get the whole experience of NYC and go to a Broadway show, eat a cupcake at Magnolia, pose for a picture with the lion in front of the library, and get lost in the Strand bookstore. I would also like to have a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity, but I hear the lines can be up to 3 hours long! The city so nice they named it twice! What's not to lust after? Broadway, Central Park, Times Square, Statue of Liberty, I want to see it all!

2. London, England
I have been dreaming of London for what feels like my entire life. I want to go and do all the super touristy stuff like the London Eye, Big Ben, Changing of the Guard, Westminster Abbey, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus and maybe take a few side trips to Stratford-upon-Avon, or Jane Austen's house. Did you know there's a Harry Potter tour in London? Oh my heck, I need to go like yesterday! Oh and fair warning, the odds of me returning home with a British accent are inevitable.

Chatsworth House in Derbyshire or Pemberley in the Kiera Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice

3. Paris, France

Little known fact about me: I took 3 years of French in high school. I can understand French if it's spoken very (very) slowly or if I have subtitles to help. I love so much about French culture, the food, the fashion, the architecture, how women seem to know how to tie a scarf from the womb. I have always had a bit of an obsession with the Eiffel Tower, but I think reading Anna and the French Kiss increased my desire to see Paris. There's just something so fabulous about a place that celebrates the consumption of bread. And cheese. And pastry. And cheese again.

The Maldives
I have never been on a tropical vacation. I would love to go somewhere fairly untouched by the Tourist Industrial Complex where I can relax and do nothing but eat incredible food and lie on a beach and read all day. Looking at pictures of The Maldives leads me to believe it's exactly the place where this sort of thing can be accomplished.

So where would you take a dream vacation?

All pictures found on Google Images

Soulful Sunday

2012-01-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

RIP Etta.

Friday Five (2)

2012-01-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday! Well yes it is indeed Saturday but I meant to post this yesterday and forgot. You'll see why.

1. This week has been rough. I've had a gnarly case of the flu that's kept me down since last Saturday night. First it was nausea, a splitting headache, and general weakness. I felt so sick I missed out on brunch with a few of my favorite ladies which made me sad. Then Monday morning it turned into chills, fever, aching, bleary eyes...basically all the stuff they mention in the Nyquil commercials. I thought Tuesday I was on the road to recovery, then somewhere around midnight my fever spiked to 103 and I seriously contemplated sending for the priest. Thankfully, my fever has since broken and I've been getting LOTS of rest and drinking fluids so I feel better and am slowly making my way back into the land of the living.

2. So the Golden Globes were last weekend and sadly, I was too sick to prepare the post I initially wanted to about all of the fashion. Instead, I'll share my own personal agony and ecstasy from the event.

The Agony:

Jessica Biel's tablecloth chic. This is not a gown befitting a woman who wants to bear the name Timberlake.

The Ecstasy:

Charlize Theron in Dior Haute Couture. She's in my favorite color, looks like a Grecian goddess, and is wearing a Cartier headband. Is it any wonder she's my girl crush? PS- My kingdom for those legs.

3. Last weekend I had the honor of guest posting on one of my favorite blogs, Busy Bee Lauren. Currently, Lauren is doing a countdown to the Hunger Games movie in March and I posted about my favorite character in the series, Cinna. Feel free to read all about it here.

4. I know I carried on quite a bit this month about The Fault in Our Stars by John Green being released. I have read it, but I am not in the mental place to review it quite yet. Just know that I highly recommend it, and suggest you go out and buy it at Target or a grocery store as you'll have a better chance of getting a signed copy.

5. Before I got too sick, I went to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. I don't claim to be a Sherlock aficionado, in fact I've only seen the films with Robert Downey Jr. and a BBC film about young Sherlock about a decade ago. I just know that looking at RDJ and Jude Law for a few hours was worth $12 to me, so I went and was entertained.

Oh and incidentally, the most exciting thing about going to the movie was seeing the trailer to one of the movies I am SO excited about this year, The Dark Knight Rises. See if you notice the wee shot of JGL in all of this madness:

Taking a Single Step

2012-01-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

My very first experience writing a book was when I was 15. I wrote a story loosely based on my high school crush, (who was just my friend at the time) and how we would fall madly in love and be those people at the 10 year reunion no one can stand. Since then, I hadn’t really written anything other than journal entries and blog posts. Luckily in the fall of 2009 I was fortunate enough to hear about NaNoWriMo. Before NaNo, I never would have thought I could write a book at age 30ish, (especially not in 30 days) in fact I had given up the hope that I would ever be anything other than a worker bee raising my daughter.

When I decided to participate in NaNo, I had no idea what I would write about. I have ideas in my head for stories all the time, but I never wrote them down or attempted to flesh them out. I decided that since I didn’t have an original idea, I’d stick with what I knew. My 2009 NaNo was an autobiographical account of my 20s which was a level of catharsis I never even expected. I wrote about the agony and the ecstasy of getting married, becoming a mother, and getting divorced all by age 25 and how it resulted in the biggest quarter life crisis you could imagine. I ended up with 75,000 angst filled words that no one should ever be forced to read.

But I did it.

In the year leading up to 2010 NaNo, I thought a lot about writing and what kind of books I’d want to write, I joined a writing group full of incredibly talented women, and I read so many great books that simultaneously inspired me beyond belief and made me feel like a huge poser. Then around summer I got a story idea, it niggled in the back of mind until I finally started jotting ideas down. It became apparent that I was on to something and as November drew closer, I decided to go for it.

By the end of November 2010, I had written a 60k word draft based on my original story idea. I spoke about the process during NaNo here on the blog and I was so excited about it. I felt like I was standing in the light of Judy Blume, Toni Morrison, and S.E. Hinton and it felt absolutely AMAZING.

Then came December. I read over my draft and decided I hated it. I became super emo and depressed and wanted to chuck the whole thing. My self-doubt convinced me that whatever I had written would be garbage and I should just stick to reading books instead of writing them. So I stopped...I put my WIP in the proverbial freezer and I quit.

You know that saying, we make plans and God laughs? I had plans to mope around and give up on writing forever. Then last April I just so happened to meet Dave Eggers at the Festival of Books and in our brief time together, he talked to me about my writing and gave me so much encouragement I tear up even thinking about it.

I would go to book signings simply to fangirl out over the authors of my favorite books and end up receiving little nuggets of wisdom that were always the exact thing I needed to hear at that exact moment. Whether it was Lauren Oliver's commitment to writing something every single day, Ally Condie talking about the balance of writing and motherhood, Laini Taylor's refusal to submit to another idea until her current project was complete, or Rachel Hawkins only writing a small amount of words per day, Laurie Halse Anderson telling me to stop farting around on the Internet and just write already, or Beth Revis writing book after book that never went anywhere until one finally did years later. It's amazing to think that these successful authors who write books that my friends and I love could have the same hangups or idiosyncrasies as I do.

Writing is a process and a struggle for anyone who does it. I’m sure I don’t hold the monopoly on feeling all Van Gogh-ish and suffering for my art. I find myself getting so caught up in the emotion of what I’m writing and so personally attached to my characters. While that's all well and good, I need to focus on the business of writing as well and treat it like a job...basically I need to start writing like it's payday and the rent is due.*

Currently I work a 9 to 5 where I'm responsible for a lot of different things. If I drop the ball on any one of these responsibilities, bad things can happen to people who don't deserve it. Needless to say, I rock at my job. I work extremely hard because I care about the work I do, and also because my job is what keeps the princess fed.

This year I need to become better at the job that feeds my soul. 2012 is all about the writing. I have no expectations other than how great it makes me feel to use my positive, creative energy towards something I love to do. No matter what ends up happening on my personal journey of 1000 miles, my ultimate goal of becoming a better writer is definitely step in the right direction.

*That isn't mine, it's Miss Jay's..diva runway coach extraordinaire from America's Next Top Model

Don't Bother Me...*

2012-01-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

I'm reading.

Probably right this very minute.

PS- Congratulations John Green aka My Favoritest Author in the History of Life!!!!

*Seriously...don't bother me.

ETA: Squee!!!

Obviously my love for John Green is worth the judgment of the princess who seemed mildly disgusted that I had no answer to her question, "Mom, why are you taking pics of yourself holding a book in the bathroom?"

Ok seriously, stop bothering me. I'm reading.

Happy New Year, Happiest Place on Earth

2012-01-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Since our normal Christmas plans were thwarted, I decided that the princess and I would celebrate the holiday by ~~depleting her college fund~~ spending some quality time together at Disneyland.

We ended up going on New Year's Day which I admit in hindsight was not the brightest idea. Everyone and their freaking mother was there that day. It's the most crowded I have seen Disneyland in all my years of going. People everywhere, bumping into me, complaining about long lines, saving seats, not controlling their wayward children. It's enough to make a girl consider agoraphobia!

Despite the crowds, the princess, my mom, and I managed to have a blast together. I had to turn right back around at the end of the day and drop the princess off at her dad's for the last week of her winter break, so this one day reprieve of three weeks without her was truly what my lonely mother's heart needed. There is truly nothing like seeing Disneyland through your child's eyes.

Holy Big Tree!

Happy New Year!!

Of course the princess had to get her pose on.

A barbershop quartet on Main Street! One of the many reasons why I love Disneyland.

First stop...It's a Small World.

The teacups...the princess begged to ride these. My weak stomach was not thrilled to take part.

If you look carefully, you can just see where I started to feel the chunks rise in my throat. Luckily I survived unscathed...or unbarfed as it were.

"Hey Mom, take my picture by this waterfall. It's scenic, like we're in the mountains or something." #princessisms

On the Matterhorn! I'm psyched we did it since it's closed down until summer now.

During the holiday parade I may have had a fangirl moment when I saw Eeyore. Here he is in his full depressing Eeyore-ness. So awesome.

Look it's the Evil Stepmother from Cinderella! You hardly ever see her! Fangirl moment #2

My mom and the princess relaxing in New Orleans Square. Side note: My mom is not wearing a shirt with a picture of herself, it's R&B legend Gladys Knight (as in and the Pips). All day people kept asking if my mom was wearing herself on her shirt

Obligatory face paint. Too bad you can't see the sparkles!

Ok so I fangirled over Belle too. Can you blame me? She loves to read!

A bit of wisdom... (2)

2012-01-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

Source

Friday Five (1)

2012-01-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

First Friday Five of the New Year! Woot!

1. I didn't really do too much shopping over the holidays. My gifts for the princess manifested themselves differently (more on this later) and I didn't really buy things for other people or myself. When I hit up the after Christmas sales at Old Navy with my friend Jana last week, I wasn't expecting to find anything for myself and true to form, I bought a bunch of stuff for the princess. Just before heading for checkout, I managed to find a pair of khakis for $3. My frugal nature could not pass up this bargain and I snapped them up right away. Now I'm second guessing my purchase because unlike Indiana Jones, I don't know how to make khakis look good. I have a feeling that when I finally wear them, I'm going to end up looking like I should be working in tech support. Jury is still very much out on this one.

2. Normally during the holiday season I go to at least 3 or 4 movies but this year was a bit different. Since I was exhausted by my own emo over missing the princess, I didn't really do much except for wallow. Despite my sadness, I did manage to get out once during the holidays and see Young Adult.
I had really high expectations for the movie, mainly because it was written by Diablo Cody, who also wrote Juno which is one of my favorite movies ever, and because it stars Charlize Theron who is my ultimate girl crush*.
I was surprised at a lot of things about the movie. I think I initially thought it would be funny and slightly dark, but it ended up being more dark and slightly funny. I absolutely enjoyed it despite the fact that it wasn't what I was expecting, but I was thrown for a loop quite a few times.
Charlize plays a YA author who is unhappy, depressed, and hates her lot in life. She decides after getting a birth announcement her high school boyfriend and his wife that she needs to head to back to her hometown and save him from his humdrum suburban existence. Hijinks obviously ensue (well booze and appalling behavior anyway) since said ex-boyfriend is perfectly happy with his life.
As I said, this movie was very dark and more of a character study than a plot driven drama. I actually think that Diablo Cody started writing the Sweet Valley High film and ended up with Young Adult because Charlize's character Mavis, is totally a middle aged Jessica Wakefield. I definitely recommend it, but only if you're not in need of something warm and fuzzy...because it seriously is neither warm nor fuzzy.

3. Have you read30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself yet? You should. Right now in fact. If you're reading this then stop and click the link then come back when you're finished reading. I'll wait.

I know right? #1 and #6 OWN me.

4. Random thought...why do so many people hate Coldplay? I do not understand how you can hear an amazing song like Fix You and still say you hate them or at least not give them another chance. Maybe I've been brainwashed by the pop culture media but I love them and often use their songs on my writing playlist. To each their own I guess.

5. The Fault in Our Stars will be here on TUESDAY! That's 4 days away!!! Plus 20 more days until I ~~fangirl the freak out~~ get to see John Green!!!! Still no clue on what to wear but I am doing quite a few things to prepare for the event...which I'll be happy to share very very soon.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

*Seriously...if I ever discovered I was a lesbian, it would be for Charlize.

2012: The Resolutions

2012-01-02T21:00:00.000-08:00

I know that most people believe resolutions are silly. More often than not, they're usually broken before you get to February and then you're all defeated and bitter. (Or maybe that's just me)

Anyway, I like making lists and creating goals for myself so here are my resolutions for 2012.

Quality time with the Princess

Working full time and being a single parent is not easy. I'm sure that's an obvious statement but I can actually attest to it's difficulty. I also have the added bonus of splitting a great deal of the princess' time with her dad, so between my job, school, her education, and just life in general we don't get many opportunities for fun times with just the two of us. This past holiday without her was really rough for me, a lot rougher than I thought it would be and it just has me thinking that I shouldn't waste a moment with her. She's growing up incredibly fast and pretty soon she won't want to be bothered with me at all because she'll be too busy being emo and teenagerish, so 2012 is going to be all about having those moments. I can't wait to see what kind of adventures we get up to!

Cleanliness. Godliness. You know.

My life is a study in disorganization. I get so busy I don't make time to clean regularly. I do a deep cleaning every few weeks but it usually ends up super messy again within days. I have so much clutter everywhere...books (endless piles of books), clothes I need to give to Goodwill, etc. My biggest fear is that I'll get nominated for Hoarders by some well meaning neighbor. I just need to do a huge clean sweep and make my ~~dingy apartment~~ house into a home. That way I'll be all set to move the heck out of this place later on this year and won't bring any of my old apartment baggage with me.

Blogging

For me blogging is a fun way of sharing a bit of myself and getting to know other people. I never looked at it as anything other than my little piece of the Internet to share my thoughts and feelings and what not, and I still feel that way. I haven't blogged regularly at all. In fact I often go through a blog-dentity crisis because I simply feel like I blog just for the sake of it as opposed to having a real purpose or theme.

I have since come to the realization that I LOVE to blog, period. I love writing in general and getting the chance to express myself really never gets old. So I resolve to do more blogging purely for the love of it and not worry about anything else. If people read or comment that's awesome but if they don't, I still love to go back and look at my past posts and laugh at how utterly insane I am sometimes. I don't guarantee that I'll always talk about reading, writing, being a mom, or Twilight, or John Green or any of the other things I seem to blabber about, but I do promise that whatever it is will be 100% me.

In conclusion, I want it to be made perfectly clear that I appreciate every single person who reads this blog and comments or sends me an email or adds me to their Google Reader! Thank you ever so much!

Remembering When Reading Was Fun

So I sucked at reading in 2011. Like really sucked. I only read 30 books. That is just simply pathetic. I don't like to set reading goals for myself because life will inevitably get in the way of whatever goal I set, but I would definitely like to read more and put a CONSIDERABLE dent in the books I've purchased but haven't read yet...which are over 100. :-\

A Writer Writes...Always

Oh man. Ok so in my list of 32 things I want to complete in my 32nd year, I listed finishing up my initial draft, getting a critique partner, and beginning the query process as goals I'd like to complete this year. I still do want to do this. Seriously.

I'm going to write a more in depth post about my writing journey some time in the very near future but basically I want 2012 to be the year I turn a corner in my writing. It's time to take it to the next level and even though I'm absolutely petrified, I know I'm the only person holding me back.

No Place Like Home

Currently, I live in a what I like to refer to as a hole. It's a two bedroom, one bath, tiny little apartment in a nice area that's fairly inexpensive. The hole part comes from the fact that the walls are paper thin, there's berber carpet, and the laundry room is quite literally a Jesus walk from my front door. Suffice it to say I definitely get what I pay for. Now that I've paid off a considerable amount of debt (WOOT!) I'm ready to find a permanent home for the princess and I that includes an additional bathroom, washer and dryer hookups (HUZZAH!), and the possibility of a dog. I decided to start saving towards the purchase of a condo or town house and fingers crossed, that we will be able to move into something of our very own before the end of the year.

I'm kind of nervous committing to these goals...especially because I know eventually some one somewhere down the line is going to ask me about one of them and I'll have to answer. Womp. Womp. Either way, I'm looking forward to the coming year and hopefully getting ALL of these accomplished.

Any resolutions this year? Share in the comments!!

Anticipation

2011-12-29T10:30:00.000-08:00

Something is coming...

An event 21 months in the making...

A little history....

In the beginning of 2010, I was still fairly ignorant to the YA world. I knew who Megan McCafferty was and I knew I LOVED The Hunger Games but that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of the genre with the exception of Twilight. (chagrin)

In January, there were rumblings in my online books club and among close friends about a collaborative novel, 5 years in the making by two of the most popular authors in the genre, David Levithan and John Green. I had never heard of either, but from what people were saying and a quick check on Goodreads, I was pleasantly intrigued.

I started with Looking for Alaska, John's debut novel and was in a word...gutted. The writing in that book is like...well....it just is. Totally. I think I laughed, then I cried, then I wanted to put it in the freezer, and then I wanted to read anything written by this man I could get my hands on.

Shortly after that I read Will Grayson, Will Grayson the book that had started it all and I loved it so much it prompted me to vlog about it because I was so struck by how amazing it was I couldn't even type.

Every once in a while a fictional character comes along that strikes a chord with me from which I am unlikely to ever recover. Tiny Cooper is such a character. Frankly...I am Tiny Cooper. I am big and loud and I love to kiss boys (if memory serves anyway) and I felt such a connection to him despite the fact that he's an obese gay teenager and I'm well...not.

Shortly after reading WG, I found out John had some sort of vlogging channel that he did with his brother Hank. So I hopped on YouTube, watched a zillion videos, became a Nerdfighter, and was forever changed.

Um, John Green is awesome. Like seriously funny and smart and nerdy (and so so dreamy she says with a girlish sigh) and awesome. I don't have words for what watching the my first Vlogbrothers video did to me, suffice it to say, a beast was created.

A fangirly, heart palpitation having, John Green loving beast, and in April 2010 she was fed. Remember this?

In case you have forgotten, it was when I died.

I was lucky enough to get the chance to meet John and David and unluckily I spazzed out.

Oh the horror. I was high pitched and squeal-y and chattered like a monkey on meth while they signed my books. I think John may have been mildly freaked out but he was still amazingly nice and appreciative that I loved his books.

Since then I have managed to redeem myself (slightly) with David Levithan. When I met him last January I was only mildly spastic and managed to interact with him in a fairly normal way. At least normal for me.

So this January, I get the chance to redeem myself once again. John Green is headed to LA people!

My reaction?

I might have a minor gif obsession as of late.

I'm trying to get all of my epic spazzery out the way now because I NEED to be cool when I meet him again!!! There is not one cool thing about me but I'm going to have to drum some up by January 26th!

I can't help that I'm enthusiastic right? There's nothing wrong with being a fan of someone...right?

Nothing at all wrong with me having this and this and this bookmarked to refer to on those days (everyday, sometimes hourly) when I need it...right?

Nothing wrong with having saved this and recorded it for future posterity...right?

Really nothing wrong with the fact that I don't see a thing wrong with this and was enabled by some of my fellow Nerdfighters..right?

Not his *actual* star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame but that's not really the point.

I am so excited I can't even stand myself! This is going to be epic! Amazeballs! Intense! Unbelievable!

How am I going to keep calm? Should I start doing yoga or practicing the Zen art of something or other in preparation?

Should I bring all of the books I currently own for him to sign and then buy some additional copies for signing to either giveaway or you know just to have as extras in case of fire or other natural disaster?

Most importantly...what the heck am I going to wear? I'm thinking pink...definitely pink. (And maybe a little cleavage. Just a little...I'm not a whore people.)

28 MORE DAYS!!!!

Disclaimer: I realized after proofing this post that stuff like this is probably why I'm still single. I have however, decided that I am ok with that. In short, if loving John Green is wrong...I definitely don't want to be right.

2011: A Retrospective

2011-12-28T11:21:00.001-08:00

I wasn't sure if I could come with that many highlights for this past year...it's seemed like I've experienced so many highs and lows, 2011 has been the definitive emotional roller-coaster. But alas, looking back is often a great way to remember fun times and gain perspective on the year ahead. So enjoy this little trip down memory lane!

January:

I got the chance to meet David Levithan for the 2nd time and fell in love with his book The Lover's Dictionary.

February:

Sometimes I roll with super heroes!

March:

The princess and I went to her very first Broadway show which is also her favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast.

April:

LA Times Festival of Books...where Dave Eggers kind of rocked my life. Believe me, it still resonates.

May:

I got a HUGE promotion and raise! Here are Jana and I at my Yay I Got a Promotion Dinner!

June:

My book club got the chance to meet and hang with blogger and real life author Matt Logelin!

July:

Best Vegas trip ever! I learned how to strut!!

August:

I stowed away at LA SCWBI's summer conference, got the chance to hear an awesome speech from Laurie Halse Anderson and then meet her, and then met and became best friends with Libba Bray.

September:

Decatur Book Festival!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a funnel cake for the first time ever!!!!! I met Stephanie Perkins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

October:

The princess turned 8 and is made of magic and wonderful things. Plus my friend Courtney took gorgeous photos of us!

November:

I finally realized how awesome I am!

December:

Sometimes you need a night you barely remember with friends you could never forget. Right?

What was your favorite part of this year?

Friday Five

2011-12-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

1. Happy Friday!!! It's almost Christmas! Have you been good this year? I certainly have mostly anyway. I'm so stoked for 8 days off! Not in a row but in total! I love the holidays!!

2. I've been doing all sorts of fun things this holiday, most of it has been spending time with friends and attending fun events. My office holiday party was a blast! We were escorted by limo to cocktails at my boss' house and then to the Queen Mary for dinner! I took NO pictures because I'm super lame and also because my office does not understand the whole blogging, pics or it didn't happen concept. Trust me though it was awesome! Walking around the Queen Mary makes me want to watch Titanic again. I felt just like Rose Dewitt Bukater, but without all the selfish broken door hogging, and leaving Leo to drown.

3. The best part of the holiday season for me is watching Love Actually, which if you read my Christmas questions poll from earlier this week you'll know is my favorite Christmas movie of all time. Normally I watch while waiting for Santa to come, but this year the princess isn't with me for Christmas (more on this later) so I wasn't sure when I'd find the time or spirit to watch it. Luckily a dear friend of mine holds an annual watching of the movie and she was nice enough to invite me! I seriously can't wait to hear "I feel it in my fingers...."

4. Earlier this year the ex asked me if it would be ok if he took the princess to visit his family out of state this Christmas and even though it nearly killed me to do it, I agreed. The idea did not necessarily sit well with me for many reasons but part of being divorced with a child is realizing that sometimes things are just not about you. Although I do not like the situation, life isn't about doing things you like all the time. I'm not happy to have the princess' life split in two but in order for her to have a real relationship with her dad, stuff like this has to occur. I realize that and even though it sucks big fat donkey balls and I'd much rather have her here to wear her new Christmas pj's and opening the gifts ~~I spent months~~ Santa brought.

I actually thought I'd made my peace with it until I went to say good bye to her. Let's just say there was a massive ugly cry and continued replaying of emo acoustic-y guitar music which is almost always my go to melancholy soundtrack.

5. Last week my friend Jessica posted a video on her Friday Five entitled Sh*t Girls Say. It's less than 2 minutes and so completely on point I could NOT stop laughing or repeating all the different lines. There was even a second installment that came out this week..hilarity obviously ensued.

Also this week my cousin posted this video on Facebook and it pretty much shows why I love Internet memes and the world wide web in general. Please watch and laugh and if I don't see you...Merry Christmas!

Hey Santa...

2011-12-21T21:02:00.000-08:00

For my ever so patient feet...

A girl's gotta smell good (oh and my free sample from Sephora is almost gone)

Because Oprah has one (and so does the rest of the world)

Just a little mojo for the coming year if you please

Happy, healthy, and (wishful thinking) home for Christmas

For...ever. With a ring and a royal title. The bloodline could use a little shaking up! Also because Kate needs an awesome chocolate covered sister in law

My first Wordless{ish} Wednesday, thanks Paper Mama!

Christmas Questions

2011-12-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Hello all! I am a bit mentally zonked between work and more work and the holidays, but I came across this tag on YouTube (my current obsession), and figured I'd give it a go. Enjoy and feel free to do it as well and link back in the comments!!

Whats Your Favorite Holiday Movie?

My favorite Christmas movie of all time is Love Actually. It's about love and Christmas and England plus Emma Thompson is in it. Enough said.

I also really love Home Alone, Muppet Christmas Carol, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon not the live action Jim Carrey version)

Whats Your Favorite Christmas Color?

I love silver at Christmas. Probably because it's sparkly!

Do You Like To Stay in Your PJs Or Dress Up For Christmas?

Christmas Day is a lounge-y kind of day. We stay in our pjs after opening presents and then have brunch.

If You Could Only Buy One Person a Present This Year Who Would It Be?

The princess. She is pretty much the only person I buy gifts for. I have a standard disclaimer that I'm a single mom on a budget and because I love giving gifts will end up eating beans out of a can for the entire winter if I bought everyone I loved a Christmas gift.

Do You Open Your Presents Christmas Eve Or Christmas Morning?

On Christmas Eve just before bedtime we open one gift, usually pajamas. Everything else is opened on Christmas morning.

Have You Ever Built a Ginger Bread House?

Nope. It looks like it would be fun but I'm not particularly crafty so it would probably be a big mess.

What Do You Like To Do On Your Time off at Christmas?

Read, eat, relax, repeat.

Any Christmas Wishes?

That I make it through my first holiday without the princess relatively unscathed and that she has a good time visiting her with her dad's family out of state.

Favorite Christmas Smell?

Love the smell of sugar cookies baking! I also really love the smell of Christmas trees!

Favorite Christmas Meal Or Treat?

Christmas cookies!

Do you celebrate a holiday other than Christmas?

No. Unless sloth counts. I do celebrate New Year's usually by scrambling for some fun thing to do which ultimately ends with me sitting in front of my TV watching the ball drop.

What are you doing for the holidays this year?

No definite plans. Just keeping busy.

What's your favorite holiday drink?

I enjoy the Gingerbread Latte at Starbucks.

Candy cane or Gingerbread men?

Gingerbread men...they're cookies. Duh.

What's your favorite holiday/Christmas song?

Carol of the Bells is one of my favorites and so is the Nat King Cole version of The Christmas Song. I also really love All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey.

What's the weirdest gift you've ever received?

I can't think of one but I'm sure I have at one point or another.

Have you ever made a snowman?

No. I live in Southern California. Fun fact...I've never even seen snow before.

What is at the top of your list this Christmas? (or whichever holiday you celebrate!)

an iPad! Or a new pair of boots.

What is most important to you about the holidays?

Spending time with people I love. Having fun. Relaxing and reflecting on the past year and setting goals for the year ahead.

December Grievances

2011-12-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Starbucks Barista,

I said butter croissant, not cheese danish. One does not sound remotely like the other. Ditto that on taste.

Xoxo,

I said butter croissant

Dear Self,

You hate cheese danish. Stop being so nice and exchange it for the butter croissant you originally asked for.

Xoxo,

You 24 hours after eating and hating previously mentioned cheese danish

Dear Salted Caramel Mocha,

You were the best thing about my morning.

Xoxo,

Mmmm....caramel.

Dear Kim Kardashian,

If this were an island, I would vote you off. You have managed to ruin celebrity weddings, reality TV, and purple eyeshadow for me in a very small span of time.

Xoxo,

Get off my island

Dear Kris Humphries,
This is why you should date girls who read.
Xoxo,
You're welcome

Dear Everyone Responsible for Ryan Gosling related Tumblrs,

You have ruined me. Seriously. I can't concentrate. I can't focus. All I keep thinking is..."Hey girl".

Xoxo,

Lifetime Fangirl

Dear Pair of Elusive boots that are perfect for me,

I've been waiting for you for over 2 years now. Please stop playing coy and find me already.

Xoxo,

Bootless Betty

Dear Hunger Games Movie,

Why aren't you being released at Christmas? Why are you 3 more months away? Why am I still so disappointed by the choice to cast Woody Harrelson as Haymitch?

Xoxo,

Girl Who Is On Fire while waiting for this movie to be released

Dear J.Crew,

$110 for a pencil skirt? Seriously? Unless it makes me arse smaller and my hair shinier, I'm going to go with no thanks.

Xoxo,

I got it at Ross

Dear Apple*,

I would like an iPad. A free iPad.

Xoxo,

That is all.

Dear Princess,

This Christmas is our first one apart since you were born. I'm so sad but I want you to have fun and make memories with other parts of your family. I'll try and have a good Christmas here at home but it will not be the same without you. Love you.

Xoxo,

Mom

Dear Prince Harry*,

So it seems I have some free time around the holidays and I heard you're close to my neck of the woods..care to grab a drink and talk about life and crap?

Xoxo,

Always on the lookout for a Hot British Ginger

*Obviously not a grievance

It's Time to Light the Lights...

2011-12-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

Doesn't it seem that lately all the great iconic pop culture type things from our childhoods have no been bastardized in the name of remakes? The Smurfs movie that came out earlier this year is a screaming example. Needless to say, Hollywood is desperately lacking in originality of late, in fact since the Harry Potter movies are now over, I doubt we'll see anything incredibly original debut for a while now.

Despite my less than enthusiastic response to reworkings of franchises of my childhood, I have to admit I was incredibly excited when I heard that another Muppet movie was in the works! Excited due to the actual Muppets themselves and because Jason Segel (swoon) was writing it. Anyone who has seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall knows that Jason (as I like to call him) is obviously a huge fan of the Muppets given his stellar Dracula puppet opera that occurs during the movie. His die hard love for the Muppets made himthe perfect person to get this movie made.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to take in the movie with 3 other friends and we were fortunate enough to the be the only people in the theater. The Muppets is just SO perfect! I think I sat there with a huge grin on my face the entire time. There was singing, dancing, clever humor, sweetness, and Jason Segel in a suit. I think it's pretty safe to say I loved it.

Who's your favorite Muppet? I'm torn between the divaliciousness that is Miss Piggy or the Rolph the piano playing dog. He likes naps.

I'm only sad I didn't take the princess with me to see it, I may actually go again with her sometime before the holidays, if I can talk her out of seeing that gosh darn Chipmunks movie. Chipwrecked...seriously? Muppets > Chipmunks, yesterday, today, and forever.

Vloggy Style

2011-12-12T20:00:00.000-08:00

In the name of keeping things fresh here on the blog I decided to do a quick tag video I discovered on YouTube. I managed to cajole a few of my friends to do it too and will link a few of them as they give me permission.

I encourage any and all who wish to participate to do so...I personally never tire of seeing myself on camera.

Hope you enjoy!

Perception vs. Reality

2011-11-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. This no surprise to people who know me since thinking and over thinking are my main hobbies.

As I mentioned before, during the month of emo I did a bit of an overhaul on myself both inner and outer, and right now I feel better about myself than I have in a really long time.

You know how on those makeover shows when people who've had their hair long forever or have been stuck in 80s makeup or something and then they get a makeover and somehow a new haircut and some lip gloss suddenly makes them see the world differently?

To be honest, I thought that was a load of rubbish. (I was so British in that sentence it's ridiculous) I never understood how mascara could change your life but now I realize that it's not the mascara but the change in perception that it provides.

I spent a large part of my life as an ugly duckling. Homely. Plain. Not cute. In short, a hot mess. I say this not to make you feel sorry for me but just as a statement of fact.

See? Hot mess.

Me and two friends on the last day of 8th grade. No I'm not wearing Cross Colors, though the time period certainly fits.

Despite the fact that I am 15ish years from this picture, when I looked in the mirror, this girl is often who I'd see. I understand that thinking like that isn't healthy or even accurate but it's reality nonetheless.

I was a bit of a late bloomer and finally started to come into myself when I around 18 or 19, then my divorce pretty much thrust me right back into my junior high way of thinking. I constantly worried about not being good enough, smart enough, thin enough, etc. I thought that if my husband, the person I loved and trusted more than anything was so miserable being married to me he had to hurt me in the most unimaginable way possible then I probably wasn't good enough to married to anyway.

Yes, I know. Stinkin' thinkin'.

As ever, my daughter is my wake up call. I noticed recently that she speaks about herself negatively and thinks what all of those yard apes at school say actually mean something. She gets caught up in what other people say about her looks and feels like she's ugly. (My least favorite word btw) Hearing her speak that way about herself breaks my heart. I don't want to push all of my negative self esteem issues on her. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to live up to some unknown ideal of who I think I should be.

So yes, I changed my hair and updated my usual harried mom chapstick and eyeliner to something a bit more glam but the truth is, I really just changed my perception of myself. I decided that I am enough. Period, the end.

I actually have a point. (Surprise) Now I've reached it.

I mentioned last week that I went to a friend's baby shower and had a wonderful time with all of my friends. What I didn't mention was a tiny little thing that turned into a makeover show moment. For the shower, my friend Courtney took photos of everyone as a part of the guest book. Normally I am always down to take a picture and make sure to fluff my hair and arch my neck to prevent the dreaded double chin. Courtney caught me by surprise when she asked me to pose so I stood up and struck a sassy pose and really thought nothing of it. Before I left I jokingly asked Courtney to post the picture on Facebook so I could see how gorgeous I am.

When I got home, I saw this.

Have you ever cried looking at a photo of yourself? I have.

The person in this photo is me, and by that I mean the person I always thought I was but could never see when I looked in the mirror. This person is who I have been trying to be for nearly 3 decades...strong, sassy, remarkable and confident. I want to be best friends with this person. Seriously people, I'm in love with her.

Feeling good about myself all the time is a new experience for me. I'm not quite used to it, but now I have tangible proof of something I have long suspected...

I am fucking awesome.

Today we should...

2011-11-24T08:15:00.000-08:00

And then...

Oh man I love this holiday!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! <3

Weekend of Random Awesomeness

2011-11-21T22:16:00.001-08:00

Baby shower brunch for one of my favorite people in life. Good food, amazing friends, and um, some wine. Best shower ever.

My mother was kind enough to babysit the princess so I could go to the shower. When I arrived to pick her up, she was in the parking lot of my mother's salon standing next to Cinderella. Yup, you heard that right. Award for the most random thing ever definitely goes to this.

Saturday night, my boo was on SNL, so I retained full hair and makeup from the shower and got into my jammies in order to fangirl all over this sexy biatch...*

While I was waiting, I hopped on Twitter to kill some time (as I do) and was pleasantly surprised to find out that a tweet I'd made in a meme entitled #WhatEdwardGoogled** was included in Field Trip Friday on Kate Hart's blog which is part of the YA Highway!

Remember my best friend Libba Bray? Further exploration on Twitter led me to discovering that she is not only my best friend, she is now following me. No big. Whatevs.

Sunday was a rainy day. The princess and I hung out at home and didn't do much. I worked on my writing, caught up on work and what not. The princess it turns out was working on some writing herself. She wrote a short story entitled Ruby's Adventure about a dog named Ruby and Prince named Jake who is also a dog. It is of course genius. Currently, she's planning a sequel.

Have I mentioned that I love her? ***

So what'd you do this weekend?

* I might have fallen asleep at 9:45pm thanks to the previously mentioned wine drinking. Thank goodness for DVR.

**Apparently the meme has something to do with Edward googling something in Breaking Dawn. I of course, would not know that since I refuse to see that movie.

***Please pardon my blurry cell pics. Proud mom fail.

London Calling

2011-11-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to write a post about my top 5 most wished for travel destinations. Then I was surfing the Internet in preparation and came across this amazing gif of the London skyline.

Courtesy of English Muse via A White Blank Page and a Swelling Rage

I just kept staring and wishing I was there.

That is all.

Eighth Wonder of the World

2011-11-15T06:19:00.001-08:00

As part of her 8th birthday celebration, the princess and I had our photos taken by my friend Courtney who happens to be an awesome photographer. I love these pics for capturing such a sweet moment in time and fun age because thus far 8 has been incredibly hilarious and interesting and looking at these pics will always remind me of what beautiful and fabulous little girl I have.

Thank you FOREVER Courtney!!

Enjoy!

(Disclaimer: It's about to get pic heavy all up in here)

I'm deathly afraid that this photo will end up in some sort of "Hey Kool-Aid" LOL pic but the princess looks so cute and happy here...I love it. We were skipping people, no grown woman looks great skipping.

I Feel Pretty

2011-11-14T05:00:00.000-08:00

Look at my pretty new blog header!!!

This was made especially for me courtesy of Chelsey at The Paper Mama!

I am fortunate enough to be IRL and Internetz friends with Nanette and she happened to mention that Chelsey is trying to raise money for a trip to the Alt Design Summit and was giving discounted rates for a custom blog banner and button!

I love my new banner! It suits me absolutely perfectly!

If you're in the market for a new banner or would like some discounted ad space definitely go on over to Chelsey's blog and help her out because she's almost halfway there!

Between my new hair, new Makeup Forever Smoky Lash mascara, and now my new blog header...I'm surrounded by pretty girlyness and I love it!

Friday Five ~ 11.11.11 edition

2011-11-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

1. Happy 11.11.11 Everyone! Are you going to make a wish? I certainly am! Lately I’ve just been wishing for peace and serenity in my crazy life. The last few weeks have been a series of me chasing myself around in a circle. I know I need to make some overall changes and give myself a break but it’s not easy. I just need to keep reminding myself that the definition of insanity to do the same things over and over expecting different results. That certainly puts it into perspective doesn’t it?

2. Whenever I feel out of control, I usually latch onto something to make myself feel better be it books or music or a new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation. These last few weeks I’ve been focusing on my outward appearance since on the inside I’ve been a hot mess. I changed my hair, bought some new makeup, and changed my look a little. I’m still on the fence about how everything looks…I’m hoping I don’t look like a girl wearing too much makeup but it’s been nice to give myself a bit of pampering. What do you think? (This is a self taken cell pic making it by definition, awkward turtle)

3. In the midst of all of my beauty exploration, I discovered a new scent and I'm absolutely in love with it! Previously my signature scent was Aqualina’s Pink Sugar for everyday ( I love smelling like something sweet and delicious) and Marc Jacobs’ Daisy for special occasions. I went into Sephora for the very first time a few weeks ago and smelled all the different Marc Jacobs scents and fell in love with Oh Lola!. I liked the original Lola scent but Oh Lola! is a lot lighter and smells so ME. A large bottle of Oh Lola! was around $88 and I just did not have that kind of disposable cash so I didn’t buy it (chagrin). Instead I bought Makeup Forever Smoky Lash mascara and some Urban Decay Primer Potion (in love with both!!) and the sales associate was nice enough to offer me a sample of Oh Lola! with my purchase!!! I was ecstatic and then earlier this week it was all over the news that Dakota Fanning’s ad for Oh Lola! is banned in the UK for the sexualization of a minor. You know what I thought when I saw this picture?

Good Lord that is a gorgeous bottle! Parental outrage fail…I don’t see anything wrong with it.

4. Happy Veterans Day! The princess’ dad did a tour in Iraq and still suffers from the effects of his time there. I don’t talk about it all that much because he’s not my husband anymore so I don’t really want to put his business in the street but I’m really proud of the service he provided to our country and how hard he works to make sure to be a voice for the veteran community. He even ran the LA Marathon earlier this year to raise money for veterans and he and the princess are at the VA today handing out cards she asked her classmates to make in their honor. The ex is not always my favorite person but he has made a lot of sacrifices in service to our country and I have nothing but respect for that. Special shout out to my uncle as well who’s Vietnam Vet and anyone who provides service to our country so that people like myself and the princess remain safe and protected. <3

5. One of the best things about this week was on Tuesday when my friend Jessica Love announced that she signed with a book agent. Jessica and I have been friends for a couple of years now and to say that she is one of the best people I know is a complete understatement. She’s awesome and I am so excited for her I don’t know what to do with myself! She has worked really hard for this and I am so in support of her writing career and can’t wait to see how the rest of her journey unfolds. If one of the 12 of you that read this blog don’t know Jess already or haven’t heard this exciting news please feel free to go to her blog and congratulate her! I have…multiple times because that’s how hardcore I am.

PS- Aren’t we adorable?

Happy Weekend!!!

Nostalgia

2011-11-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me that I never really post about Halloween. I have mentioned how it's my most hated holiday because I'm a scaredy cat but the princess actually loves it. She gets excited to dress up every year and there is always an epic debate pretty much from the end of August until a week before Halloween what her costume will be.

2006: A sailor girl. Back when I still had control over her costume.

2008: We went into the costume store looking for Belle from Beauty and the Beast. We left with Daphne from Scooby Doo. I think the opportunity to be a ginger was too good for her to pass up.

2009: The infamous Hermione costume that turned into Batgirl.(It was also laundry night...don't judge)

2010: She said she wanted to be a witch. I tried to paint her green and she wasn't having it, yet she spent the whole night telling people she "killed Dorothy." Kids today have no sense of authenticity.

2011: A vampire princess...whatever the heck that is. No fangs though. (Obviously my Twilight obsession is genetic.)

A bit of wisdom...

2011-11-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Who knew that a flat sandal wearing, Guy Fieri dressing, puppy loving, US Marshal stalker was so full of knowledge?

Happy Saturday!

Friday Five

2011-11-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

1. I can't believe how fast this week has flown by! I can't believe it's November! I can't believe people still wear leggings as pants!

2. Last month kind of sucked for me. I was stuck in a whirlwind of emo due to numerous factors and found myself becoming very sad over things I couldn't control. Some of it is still going on unfortunately, but I can say it's definitely taught me something about myself and how I want to proceed in life going forward. Hint: Not like this.

Luckily the dark cloud has passed and I'm feeling much better and thankfully more like myself. I feel really blessed that quite a few people sent me emails and texts and stuff noticing that I wasn't as active as I normally am. It feels good to know that people care.

3. I'm trying to give up watching TV. I feel like in order to become a more productive writer, I need to give up something and since the Internet is often the only time I get to talk to people, I can't lose that. So TV is going to have to go. This is a gradual loss, no cold turkey or anything. Especially since Glee, How I Met Your Mother, and The Big Bang Theory are still in production.

4. Speaking of being productive, a big cheerleader yell for all of my friends currently participating in Nanowrimo! Hope everyone is working hard and those creative juices are flowing! Cheers for inspiration and hard work getting you to your ultimate goal!!!

5. Oh and um...this happened.

PS- In order to find out my location he had to click on my profile....meaning he wanted to find out more about me because he decided that I was you know...awesome.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

You Should Read This: Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

2011-11-03T22:53:00.000-07:00

When I first heard about this book I was sure it wasn't for me. I decided to give it a try because everyone in my trusted reading circle raved about it. I remained skeptical because the book is heavy fantasy.

Like people are part human, part ram, part lion kind of fantasy.

I'm a girl who likes her books with cute boys and kissing. I'm ok with paranormal but I was highly skeptical that I would like this book.

This book is awesome. It's one of those incredibly written, interestingly woven, layered stories that engulf you to the point that you're wishing you were a part of this fantastical adventure.

I loved it.

Fortunately I was able to meet the author Laini Taylor a few weeks ago and she was amazing! She has pink hair!

I have no real details to offer about the signing because like a moron, I forgot to take pictures. Feel free to peruse my friend Jessica's blog post about the event because unlike me, she almost always remembers to snap a few photos.

Initially, I was very intimidated to meet Laini because her writing is just so incredible. She has a way with prose, imagery, and analogy that is simply spellbinding and I'm happy to say that I left the signing feeling very inspired because her writing process sounds very similar to mine. In fact she mentioned how she had the idea for DoS&B while she was writing another book and wouldn't allow herself to start on it until she was finished with the one she working on.

Sounds familiar right?

My favorite part of the signing was when she stated she refers to a new book idea as a "slutty new idea" because it's shiny and new and easy.

I also loved finding out that she writes in additional document to go along with her WIP because sometimes she just needs to write about what she's writing so she can get a better picture of where it's going.

I do that too! I have a 10 page Word doc that goes along with my WIP just for writing about my characters or little side stories that have created their particular personality facets.

This book is getting a lot of buzz in the blogosphere and it should. It's original, witty, mesmerizing and the writing is absolutly magnificent. I actually told Laini that she writes like butter, whatever the eff that means. I just can't help spazzing out in some capacity when I meet an author. It's what I do.

Breaking Dawn Breakdown

2011-11-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

You better hold on tight spider monkey, because things are about to get real. (and long...my apologies in advance)

I have feelings about the final Twilight movie that need to be expressed.

Big feelings.

First off let me say that 3 years ago I was an official Twihard. I had known about the books since they first came out but declined reading them because I was of the Buffy generation and felt like the whole vamp in love with a teen thing had been done brilliantly by Joss Whedon.

When they announced that a movie would be made and started selecting cast members, I still remained adamantly against the whole thing until Robert Pattinson was chosen to play Edward.

The hot, lanky, British, and incredibly awkward Robert Pattinson who made me swoon as Cedric Diggory in the fourth installment of Harry Potter.

Sidebar - Have I also mentioned that I'm almost positive that I'm a Hufflepuff? If Pottermore ever gets it's stuff together I'm totally rocking the yellow and black.

Anyway, once I found out Rob was in the movie I knew I had to see it and I knew before I saw it I had to read the books because that is most decidedly how I roll. Luckily my bestie Jana owned the books and had read them and was already singing their praises so she was happy to lend me all 4 books.

We all know that I'm a huge book lover. I read books and fall in love with the characters all the time. I was not prepared however for the raw, carnal, visceral reaction I had to this series. I've read To Kill a Mockingbird several times over. I love the characters, the setting, the story, and just the general awesomeness of the that piece of fiction....but I don't want to bang Atticus!

It was a different story with Twilight.

I read them in 6 days*. I read Twilight in two nights. I read New Moon in one sitting because I did not want to go to sleep in a world where Bella and Edward were not together. Eclipse was read in three nights because I was sleepy from staying up until 3am reading New Moon.

Then I got to Breaking Dawn.

To say the words literary fail would be putting it mildly.

Basically...Stephenie Meyer screwed me over. I said this in my original Goodreads review of the book but reading BD is like going on three awesome dates with a guy who has Mr. Right written all over him, then finding out on date #4 that he's a premature ejaculator with a tiny penis and bad credit.

In other words...a deal breaker.

Now I blame my subsequent Twifreakery after reading BD on my infatuation with Robert Pattinson and my disbelief that the fourth book would ever actually be made into a movie because of it's previously mentioned horribleness. Hollywood can't be that greedy can they?

Oh yes my sparkly friends, they can.

I have seen the original movie several times. In fact I can probably recite it word for word. I actually kind of love it because of it's cheesetasticness. I also know the DVD commentary between Rob, Kristen Stewart, and the director/cougar Catherine Hardwick by heart and usually watch the movie with the commentary just to hear all my favorite parts again.

I bought t-shirts, stood in long lines at the premiere of the movies, read the first 3 books repeatedly (I refuse to read BD ever again), and swooned over interviews with the cast, paparazzi pics of Kellan Lutz running (hello nurse) and even found myself driving hella far distances to see Jackson Rathbone's band 100 Monkeys play...twice.

Jessica and I at the premiere of New Moon. My t-shirt reads, Jasper Says Relax. Hers reads Forks is for Lovers.

Jana and I at Eclipse. We went to 9am show hence our fatigued faces. My shirt is in homage to the tent scene. Hers reads, Penguins, Lovely which is a direct quote from Edward.

Me dancing with the Bananager at a 100 Monkeys show. PS- No I'm not pregnant. PPS- This pic was taken 30lbs ago.

Then they put Edward's face on a Burger King crown.

They decided to make Breaking Dawn into TWO movies, when it really never should have been one book.

I started to become really (really) uncomfortable with the notion of 30 and 40 year old women lusting after a not quite yet 18 year old boy. Abs or not...it just squicked me out. Plus I was thinking in the back of my mind that said sweet faced boy was eventually going to have to fall in love with a baby. Squicked out squared.

Then it seemed like every YA book that came out afterward was a paranormal series with a love triangle or even worse a girl in love with wealthy, gorgeous, unattainable boy who drives her to school.

Oh I have added bitterness over the fact that Stephenie Meyer made giraffe money** from the whole thing and refuses to finish Midnight Sun, which I feel is arguably the best thing she's ever written. She also comes across as incredibly ungrateful and snooty especially towards the people who's hard earned greenbacks have given her a life most people can only dream about.

My Twi-love has waned...considerably. Now the final movie is about to premiere and I can't work up any enthusiasm for it. In fact I can actually say that I could not care less. I'm not going to see it no matter how many times the trailer shows Edward breaking the bed (admittedly the one part I was kind of looking forward to). I think it's actually safe for me to say I'm ok living in a world where vampires don't sparkle.

I feel like I should get a diploma or something, or at the very least a sobriety chip.

*I maintain to this day that there is some form of methamphetamine in the pages.

**Giraffe money is a level of wealth so vast it becomes commonplace to inquire about the cost of a giraffe.

Nano No-No

2011-11-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

For the last two years I've participated in NaNoWriMo, or for the uninformed National Novel Writing Month where the goal is to write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days. I won both years and felt pretty proud of myself since it kick started my writing to another level.

My last Nano project remains unfinished. It's a book I've been wanting to write for the last 5 years and I have written and rewritten and revised and re-revised so many times but it's still not done. Before I show it to anyone or even get it ready for the next step in the publishing process I want to be proud of it. I want to feel like I want someone else to read it. Right now, it just feels like a journal entry or a secret project I've been tinkering on for years. So for now...it will remain a secret.

Now I do have another idea for a book. It's been bugging me since earlier this year and I've been using the Snowflake method to outline it. I have a pretty good idea of where it's going and just need some time to draft it. Wouldn't the perfect time be right now? During a month geared towards writing and good writer juju? Why yes it would but I'm not going to participate because I'm afraid if I do I'll be in this same spot next year, a shiny new idea hovering in my mind while last year's shiny idea sits sad and lonely in My Documents.

If I ever want to take myself seriously as a writer I need to be more disciplined. It doesn't matter if no one else reads what I've written, I need to take pride in my craft and the results of what I write. So this month I'll spend tinkering around with my old Nano some more and maybe reworking a few things and looking for a critique partner. I need an unbiased opinion at this point, someone who can see flaws where I don't and see good points where I most definitely don't.

By this time next year I want to be on to the next step. Here's to soaking in some good writing juju this month.

Epic Conversationalist

2011-10-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Mom, why is called Glee?

The show? Or the word?

The show. It doesn't make since because the "L" in Glee is supposed to be for "loser" right?

Yes, that's right. They do it that way so you remember it. That's called marketing.

Well...why don't they just call it Gwee? It definitely sounds the same.

Gwee? Why Gwee?

Because the "W" would be for "winner"...get it?

Yeah, I get it.

Singing is for winners Mom.

It certainly is kid.

What is Love?

2011-10-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

For some people, it might mean this:

For me, it will always and forever mean this:

Baby don't hurt me...

Under Construction...

2011-10-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

I'm having some real life struggles lately and unfortunately haven't been able to see my way clear.

I am however, working on it.

While I do, please enjoy the soundtrack to my emo, a cover of The Cure's Lovesong sung by my favorite British chanteuse, Adele.

Side note- I used to hate this song until I heard this cover. Well done you Adele.

Happy thoughts are much appreciated.

Happy Birthday Little Princess

2011-10-03T05:22:00.000-07:00

Love you my beautiful girl.

Friday Five - Princess Edition

2011-09-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

The princess is turning 8 years old on Monday. Eight.years.old. How is this possible? I'm not sure but this weekend we are having another Birthday Princess Weekend Extravaganza and I can't wait! In honor of my favorite almost 8 year old, Here are five of my favorite princess moments!

1. We have a long standing family tradition regarding newborns in our family. Once a baby has it's first in the tub bath (after the gross umblical cord thingy comes off) the baby is then rubbed down with extra virgin olive oil. Now, I was probably delirious from lack of sleep and lamenting my sore and hard as a rock boobs at the time my mother told me *why* this was a tradition, so I can't give you any solid facts as to what the EVOO was for, suffice it to say, the princess got a full rub down after her first bath. As I stood in the doorway looking at my mom and my daughter, the most amazing thing happened. The princess opened up her eyes, looked at the ceiling, and then she grinned. A full out ear to ear, "I'm going to Disneyland!" kind of grin. Her very first one. I of course bawled, but as we know, I'm a complete sap.

2. Like most Los Angeles natives, the princess is a hardcore Lakers fan. Now I can not measure the amount of eff I do not give about organized sports in general, but Lakers games are a good opportunity for celeb sightings so if given an opportunity, I'll pretend to care just so I can see if Leo is in the audience. The princess' Lakers love was ignited the year they made it to the championships and were playing against the Boston Celtics. It was Game 2 or 3 in the series and all of a sudden she knew the game, the players, and that "Lakers rule and the Bostons drool". She also told me that her favorite player was "Big Steve". I had no idea who she was talking about and even a quick Google search of the roster didn't help. I asked a few of my Twirlie girls who are fans and they didn't seem to know either. Finally my curiosity got the best of me and I turned the game on and asked the princess (who was watching it in her room and shouting "DEFENSE" every few seconds) to come and show me Big Steve. She would point him out when they were all running up and down the court so I had no idea who he was...until there was a foul and Kobe Bryant was at the free throw line. At the top of her lungs, the princess yelled, "there he is Mom, THERE'S BIG STEVE!!!" As I tried hard to stifle my giggles at her misinterpretation, I heard the crowd yelling things like "MVP" and "GO KOBE" and figured the princess must have decided his name was Big Steve based on that. I broke the news to her and she was emphatic that Big Steve is a much cooler name than Kobe. I kind of have to agree.

3. I have discussed the princess' deep lack of love for Michael Jackson. She did not understand the history and the importance that Michael has on the American popular music landscape and being that she was around 6 when he died she probably never will. Luckily, someone decided to develop a video game based on all of his old music videos which the princess plays regularly at her after school care. One evening she came up to me and asked if I wanted to see her sweet dance moves. Always a willing audience, I naturally said yes and she proceeded to bust a move right there in our living room. When I asked where she'd learned her sweet moves from (after generous applause of course) she told me they were from Michael Jackson. Then she performed the moves again ending with her hands in the air (in a very typical MJ move I must say) while singing, "Are you the ghost of jealousy?" Now I consider myself to be a big fan of MJ and was dumbstruck by the whole ghost of jealousy thing. She *insisted* that those were the lyrics and even described the video to me as MJ in a house surrounded by zombies with green lighting in the background. I still had no idea what she was talking about so off to Google I went. (What did parents do before Google? Seriously I don't even want to think about it) After an extensive search of MJ, zombies, music, etc and coming up short, I finally just googled the words "michael jackson ghost of jealousy" and holy crap...there was the video! Apparently Michael did some Halloween special in the late 90s and performed a song called "Ghosts". He totally asks "are you the ghost of jealousy?" in the song! Oh and best part...the princess is totally an MJ fan now and we are currently working on choreography to PYT (Pretty Young Thing) which I may have mentioned before...is my favorite MJ song.

4. 2 years ago the princess decided to be Hermione Granger for Halloween. There may have been some slight prodding from me on the subject (HP4EVA) but the decision was all her own. When I decided to show her Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone as preparation...her entire world changed. She spent the next week speaking in a British accent and saying things like "It's Levio-SUH" not Levio-SAW" etc and I suddenly understood what Robert DeNiro's mother must have felt like. We walked into the costume shop to buy her Gryffindor robes and all of a sudden her life changed again. Why? Because there was a Batgirl costume available in her size and super heroes are WAY better than witches. Exit British accent, enter cheesy comic book dialogue. Did I mention that I loathe Halloween?

5. Whenever someone asks the princess what she wants to be when she grows up, she almost always says the same thing. An international pop star. After dinner one night she came to me and emphatically stated that she wasn't going to college because international pop stars don't need to go. She said that instead she would go to New York and be on Broadway and become super famous and *then* become an international pop star. I countered her by mentioning a school called Julliard. I described how it was a school just for kids like her who love the arts and want to perform. She soaked it all in then skipped off to her room. Five minutes later she came back with what she deemed was a "New Plan". She would go to Julliard, graduate, then be on Broadway and become super famous, and then become an international pop star. I'm glad one of us has it all figured out.

Book Review: Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

2011-09-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

I think we knew I was going to have multiple exclamations over this book, especially because it was written by my bestie Stephanie Perkins so please bear with me.

When I first heard about this book, it was around this time last year right after I finished Anna. I was so in love with the characters in Anna that I as much as I loved Stephanie's writing, I was doubtful that I would have the same intense love for Lola even though I was sure I would like it.

I am happy to say I was completely misguided in my initial feelings! Lola and the Boy Next Door is awesome! Stephanie is masterful at nailing down Lola's narrative and I didn't feel like I was reading a book, more like I was getting a chance to be 17 all over again but instead of being clumsy awkward bookish me, I was Lola Nolan. Spunky, costume wearing, incredibly sweet and expressive Lola.

Oh and then there's Cricket. Now I should preface that I love me some Etienne St. Clair, (like have his babies while holding up a radio in front of his house kind of love) but Cricket is SO different! Cricket is the guy that you don't have to worry about holding on to, because you know he'll always be there. He's nerdy, awkward, sweet, and unsure of himself and I loved him because instead of being some dream boy fantasy, he's an absolute real life boy next door, and he's awesome! And hot! And tall!!!!

I know I sound biased because Stephanie is my best friend, but I seriously loved this book SO MUCH! I hope you all go out and buy it today!!! Or that you received it today because you pre-ordered like a smart person!!

So if you're thinking like a smart person, then you must have entered my blog contest for a wicked awesome signed copy of Anna and the French Kiss! Well I'm happy to announce that thanks to Random.org the winner is:

Kayla!!!

Oh and also I figured that I would announce the winner of the pre-order of John Green's upcoming new book The Fault in Our Stars...did I mention that all copies would be signed?

Yay Jennie!!

ETA: Apparently Kayla should buy a lotto ticket or play some online poker because her luck is definitely on the upswing! She won a signed copy of Anna on my friend Jacki's blog last week, so thanks to a redraw the new winner is...

Lauren!!!

Ladies please email me to claim your prize! Thanks everyone for entering!

Just a Quickie

2011-09-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit overwhelmed with life and midterms and the princess turning eight in a few days. You do not want me blogging about what's going on in my brain...trust me.

But I'm sure you'd LOVE to win a signed copy of Anna and the French Kiss right? Especially because it looks like this:

Well then enter my giveaway!!! Deadline is tomorrow!!!

If you enter, guess who will love you forever? Me and this guy:

32

2011-09-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that my 101 in 1001 list has kind of disappeared. I made a decision at the end of the summer that I was going to do away with the list, not because I no longer have goals to accomplish, but because 1001 days is a long time for me to procrastinate and I am the Queen of Procrastination.

Instead I decided that given my recently acquired new age, (you should still call me 30ish though) it would be fitting to make a new list of goals that I could complete in a year. So starting on my birthday I went through my old 101 list picking a few tasks I hadn't completed plus a few new ones that have recently sprouted into my brain and Wah-la! The 32:

1. Lose 50 pounds

2. Complete the 30 Day Shred

3. Do a Charity Run/Walk

4. Go an entire week without television

5. Go an entire week without Internet

6. Read 50 books

7. Learn 50 new words

8. De-clutter my entire house

9. Redecorate my bedroom

10. Make a 30 day photo diary

11. Do an outfit of the day post for an entire week

12. Take a dance class

13. Go on a hike

14. Volunteer at a shelter or food bank

15. Go to at least 3 museums with the princess

16. Finish and revise my current writing project

17. Find a writing critique partner

18. Start the getting published process

19. Pick 5 new recipes and try them out

20. Move into a new place

21. Save 10% of my net income

22. Move into a new place

23. Redecorate the princess’ room

24. Do laundry once a week for a month (folded and put away)

25. Find a new comfortable happy non judgmental church

26. Watch a sunrise and sunset on the same day

27. Finish an entire book of crossword puzzles

28. Go to 5 weezermonkey reviewed places

29. Donate blood

30. Watch 10 foreign films

31. Buy a new dining room table

32. Write a letter of thanks to a soldier

I'm excited about quite a few of these, but am less than thrilled about a larger portion of them but I know they have to be done. Either way, it's good to have some fresh goals and another way to improve my life.

Go me!

Musical Memories

2011-09-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Do you ever hear a song and suddenly feel like you're in a time machine? I do. I was recently inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, Busy Bee Lauren to give a glimpse into a few songs that have been the soundtrack to my life.

You Oughta Know

Holy crap. This song was released in 1995 when I was a teenager. I loved it then and rocked out and felt all female empowered and what not...then 2004 happened. The summer of 2004 this song became the narration of my life and I lived every single thing that Alanis was singing about. It's amazing how real the lyrics became for me 9 years after I first heard the song. For a long time, every time I heard it, I remembered all of those feelings and it would fill me with justifiable rage and bitterness. Now when I hear it, I'm just reminded of how strong I am, how much my life has changed, and how I will never be that girl again.

I Can't Trust Myself With Loving You

My obsession with the Mayer is obviously well documented. I was actually just talking with a friend of mine about how his album Continuum pretty much got me through the last half of 2006. I listened to it in a steady loop and would rock out in my car singing along to every word. This song is not as talked about as Gravity or Slow Dancing in a Burning Room,* so imagine my surprise when I got the opportunity to hear him play it live at the Hollywood Bowl last year. This song is kind of like musical sex in my opinion. Optimum fangirl bliss achieved.

Since You've Been Gone

This song is a reminder of fun times with the princess. She was around 3 when this song came out and every time it came on the radio she would freak out and sing her heart out to it. She was so adorable and earnest, it made me crack up every single time especially because she pronounced it, "Shoopin' Been On."

No Scrubs

This song is kind of like anthem of my early 20s. Whenever I hear it I'm transported back to when I was young and had no stretch marks. Two of my best friends and I would always play this song on road trips and we had incredibly cheesy choreography to go with it. Now we famously perform that same cheesy choreography at weddings and whenever we are reunited. We are so awesome.

Flagpole Sitta

I was at work recently and this song randomly showed up in my Alternative Music Pandora station. I laughed when I heard it because I still remember the lyrics. A decade has gone by since I first heard this song and I still have no idea what it's about. Doesn't matter though, the minute the bridge starts with, "Paranoia, paranoia everybody's coming to get me..." I still sing it at the top of my lungs.

Miracle

Don't judge me for this one. It was released while the princess was still a baby and at the end of the most awful summer of my life. When I heard it for the first time it made me bawl (though truthfully it didn't take much) and I wanted to hold my little baby and tell her that everything in the world would be okay. As the years have passed, I still get teary when I hear that song because it's sappy and describes the overwhelming feelings of motherhood so succinctly, but more so because now I know it was pretty much written about Brody Jenner** and that disturbs me on a level I can't even discuss.

PYT (Pretty Young Thing)

Couldn't have a nostalgic song list with mentioning MJ! This song reminds me of family gatherings and dancing in the backyard with my brother and sister. It takes me back to such a simpler time when my family was my entire world. This song is always on my house cleaning playlist because no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I always have to bust out with some sick dance moves when I hear it.

I was going to include my favorite Beatles song, All You Need is Love in this list and then I got sidetracked by all of the YouTube videos of people copying the scene from Love Actually for their weddings, which somehow led to me watching people perform Single Ladies by Beyonce which led to me watching her performance at this year VMAs where she rubbed her baby bump at the end.

Then it was after midnight and I remembered I had to work in the morning.

YouTube is obviously dangerous.

So, what songs are like a time machine for you?

*Did you see all of that Guitar Face? You're totally welcome.

**Brody Jenner's mother, Linda Thompson co-wrote.

Stephanie and Me

2011-09-13T06:30:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I am about to fangirl the freak out. You've been warned.

The highlight of DBF for me and one of the biggest factors in me deciding to make the trip to Georgia was getting the opportunity to meet Stephanie Perkins. I think this sentence deserves a big fat duh squared.

The panel and signing for Stephanie was at the end of the festival and it was the perfect punctuation mark on what had been one of the best weekends of my book loving life so far. Our little group was so excited to meet Stephanie, we all gushed over her during the panel. I was especially moved when Stephanie talked about writing about deep and true love at a young age and how she fell in love and married as a teenager.

Terra Elan McVoy, Elizabeth Eulberg, Stephanie Perkins, and Jennifer Jabaley. Fabulous women who write contemporary YA.

Before I read Anna and the French Kiss last year, I was feeling really blah about my writing. In fact I was conflicted about whether or not I should continue writing as anything other than my secret hobby which it has been for most of my life. There was something about Anna and her story that woke me up. It probably seems a silly, but for what feels like forever I just wanted to write a story that made people happy. It didn't have to be the greatest literary achievement of my generation or even be depressing enough to be an official Oprah Book Club selection, but if I were to write something that made people smile or laugh, I'd feel like the biggest success in the world.

Anna and the French Kiss made me laugh. It made me smile and want to hug something after I read it. In short, it gave me butterflies. It's a simple and beautiful story that doesn't try too hard but creates a world in which I desperately want to live. It also inspired me to become the kind of writer that inspires butterflies, especially in myself. I love to read books about regular life with characters that aren't necessarily undead or wolfy or fae or existing in a world a hundred years from now and I want to write those kinds of books as well. I'm incredibly grateful to Stephanie for making me believe that could be a reality. I would never assume that I am as gifted a writer as she is, but I appreciate the inspiration, the happy feeling I take away from reading her books, and the existence of my reigning fictional boyfriend Etienne St. Clair.

Since I tend to be a basket case and incredibly spastic when meeting my favorite authors I spent my time in line going over what I wanted to say with my friend Julie and trying to calm the freak down. When it was finally my turn to speak with her I was shocked when I actually was able to articulate everything I wanted to say and actually not freak the freak out! I told her all of the reasons that I loved Anna and that I recently had the chance to read Lola and the Boy Next Door (which releases on the 29th...preorder now people!) and how I loved it even more if that's even possible. I also made sure to drop my book event bestie Jessica's (who I totally missed at DBF by the way) name into our conversation since she won the ARC of Anna that I first read last year, and how I had traveled all the way from sunny Los Angeles to muggy Decatur just for the chance meet her.

Then I mentioned that right after I read Anna for the first time I sent her a tweet saying something to the effect of, "I just finished your book and now that I've met Etienne St. Clair, I need to tell Marcus Flutie that we need to see other people." Her response? "Oh my gosh...Tameka?" She totally knew who I was! (death btw, complete and utter death)

Ok so maybe I was a *little* spastic but she's laughing! She thinks I'm funny! (PS -What the fudge is happening to the back of my head? Darned southern humidity!

What made my time with Stephanie such a John Green Moment was when I mentioned the fact the Libba Bray is indeed my best friend. I told Stephanie that I'd be quite willing to make her a part of the best friend trifecta if she were willing, and she told me that since Libba was one of her idols, she was totally in.

We're adorable together.

Did we just become best friends? I think so.

I told Stephanie that when Libba signed one of my books, she mentioned that we were BFF. (Side note: She did really do this. I would have spoke of it before but I didn't want to be completely bragadocious about it...obviously I'm over such foolish thinking now.) Since Stephanie is now a part of the trifecta, she pretty much made my life when she signed the book I bought specifically to give away on my blog with this:

I KNOW RIGHT?

She also signed my own personal copy and brought a mild and brief ugly cry.

I think the only thing left to say is that Stephanie Perkins is amazing. She is sweet and funny and nice and beautiful and cool and has the most amazing streaks in her hair that are the most vividly pretty blue in person. She exceeded my expectations exponentially (how's that for alliteration?) and I feel like my life is better for having met her.

So....how awesome would it be to have this signed copy of Anna? Seriously it's pretty much the most amazeballs signature ever in life. All you have to do is comment and tell me what gives you butterflies. Contest will run until 11:59pm on September 28th...so I can remind you all to buy Lola and the Boy Next Door immediately on September 29th. You don't have to be a follower either, though I'm hoping now that you've seen with whom I roll, you'll want to stick around.

Third Grade...

2011-09-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

So the princess entered the third grade last week. Third. Freaking. Grade.

I remember third grade vividly.

It's where I learned to write in cursive.

It's where I learned to square dance.

It's where I first started writing book reports.

It's also where I first learned about the Little House book series.

I can't believe the princess is going to start having all of these memories.

She's on the "big kid" side of the playground now. Instead of going right in when the morning bell rings, she and her fellow upper elementary classmates play on the playground for an additional 15 minutes.

THIS is a very big deal.

The only thing that kept me from bawling (much), was how adorable and nervous she was on the first day. She asked me to stay with her until she lined up for her new class and held tightly to my hand...until she saw a friend from her second grade class who exclaimed, "Princess! Oh my gosh I love your backpack!" (Hello Kitty of course.) Then I was treated to a "Bye Mom!" and dismissive wave and she gushed over how totally awesome her summer was.

Is it possible that I'm this old? Old enough to have a daughter in UPPER ELEMENTARY?

Don't answer that.

Isn't she adorable?

Never Forget

2011-09-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

When I think about that day 10 years ago, the one thing that sticks out besides the stomach clenching fear I felt, even 3,000 miles away from what was happening, was how much basic human kindness was on display that day and the weeks following. Last night, I read this blog post by one of my favorite authors, Meg Cabot about her 9/11 experience and it made me cry myself to sleep. I think everyone should read it...it's a glimpse of her story and the interconnection between her and so many others that I'm sure was similar to all of the goings on through all of NYC that day.

I'm spending today with the princess and still trying to figure out a way to explain to her something that happened before she was born. I want to explain without freaking her out but I highly doubt that will happen or that I'll be able to talk about the events of that day without tearing up. It's important that she knows though...so like most things having to do with parenthood, I'm going to muddle through it somehow.

Be kind to one another today. Love you all. <3

Friday Five - Decatur Book Festival Edition

2011-09-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! Here are 5 things about my time at DBF last weekend!

1. In preparation for my trip, I went through the list of authors and bought books from authors who I knew I'd be seeing. In an effort to stay organized I kept the purchased books in their Amazon box and put my already owned books on top of it. This was fine until I went to pack my suitcase and ended up with this:

Yeah...75% books, 25% clothes. That is true book nerd stuff right there. Oh and bee tee dubs, not pictured were the two heavy as heck textbooks I brought with me for studying in my "downtime". I know what you're thinking, but where the heck were you when I needed someone to explain to me that there is no down time on a book nerd weekend? Lugging my 54 pound suitcase in addition to my 20ish pound carry-on around the muggy Atlanta metro was so the opposite of fun, but bringing back so many signed books, including ones I'd love to giveaway on my blog made it totally worth it.

2. I debated back and forth about making this part of the festival public knowledge, but I really feel like it was an important part of the experience. There was a guy working the festival who personified the word douche. He was rude, snippy, and far too drunk on his own power for my taste. There were lots of moments where he was flat out disrespectful to me and to a few of my friends and it took all of my energy and good Christian upbringing not to get in his face and go full on neck roll and finger wave on him. I purposely took no pics of him because the temptation to put him on full blast would be far too great. So, I'll just give advice to those who work events like these. People like myself, and by that I mean book nerds, are a simple people. We just want to meet our favorite authors, get our books signed and have a tiny moment in time with the person who created characters that we connect with so there's no need for snippy comments, hands in our faces, or eye rolling. You should always remember that you catch far more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Simply translated...don't be a douche. The end.

3. So I've made no secret about the fact that my big draw for going to DBF was for the opportunity to meet Stephanie Perkins. Stephanie was in a panel with 3 other authors who I had vague knowledge of, but I did buy two of their books to get signed, one of which was Prom and Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg. During the signing, the line for Stephanie was epically long so I took the opportunity to scoot over to Elizabeth's line and meet with her. I haven't read any of her books yet, but during the panel she mentioned that she is friends with David Levithan so when I met her I introduced myself and told her that I would DIE to be besties with David. She laughed and told me how awesome he was and I told her how being in his proximity always gives me Tourette Syndrome and I blurt out random spastic fangirl epithets at him. She was SO nice and I told her I was looking forward to reading her book since Pride & Prejudice is one of my favorite books and I actually like to read modern re-tellings. She told me to email her once I read because she "really wants to know what I think of it." O_O

Elizabeth is terribly amused at my gushing over David. Terribly amused.

4. Libba Bray is still my best friend. I know I mentioned this in my last blog post, but really...it totally bears repeating.

When Libba Bray is your best friend, um, your life is just that much more awesome. True story.

5. Speaking of friends, the best part of my trip was hanging with my awesome friends who I sadly don't get to see because of us living in different parts of the country. We speak to each other daily but coming together for this weekend of nerdiness was so much fun I can't even stand it. I never had the opportunity to join a sorority, but if I did, I imagine it would be something like the weekend I had with my friends. Notice I don't call them fellow bloggers or anything like that because really, I am close enough to these girls that I would totes hand over a kidney if needed.

Not only are Jacki and Jennie two of my closest book nerd friends, they are also two of my favorite book bloggers! They are both moms to tiny toddlers and manage to read more books in a month than I think I have all year. Plus they are both incredibly sweet, funny, and just generally awesome. Jennie had me in stitches all weekend, and Jacki made us Harry Potter cookies...it seriously does not get better than that!

Crystal is one of the sweetest people I know. I'm lucky because I get to hang with her THREE times this year! We had an epic road trip from ATL to Alabama together and she showed me all the sights of Alabama which were trees and the Talladega Speedway. Good times!

DBF was my third time meeting Heather. To say she is awesomesauce is a vast understatement. She is adorable, funny, an incredible writer, and the only person I know who can totally pull off purple tights. In short, I love her to death.

Ashley takes the award for "Came the Furthest" because she lives in Canada! She is also a supermodel as you can see in this picture. I knew she was pretty but I was not expecting her to be so stunning I felt like a schlump in my t-shirt and denim capris when she greeted me at the airport! Luckily Ashley's gorgeousness doesn't prevent her from hardcore nerding out like the rest of us. She had a particularly fangirly moment with Jackson Pearce that was one of my favorite parts of the weekend.

All I can say about Julie is that everyone needs a little bit of Julie in their lives. She is as sweet and kind and amazing as you would think by looking at her and I am so glad I finally got the chance to meet her in person so I our best friend love story could begin! Also, she has the best Southern accent and bought me various Hello Kitty paraphernalia for my birthday in addition to a copy of The Great Gatsby which I have never read (I KNOW). She's awesome. That is all.

Ok, so that was the bulk of my trip. There will be a few more posts showing all my swag and of course the epic retelling of me meeting Stephanie Perkins but right now I'm too emotional about it to write anything other than "OMG I LOVE HER!" While that statement is incredibly accurate, it's unfortunately not all that interesting to read 100 times over but it is coming.

Happy Weekend!

Scenes from My Birthday Sphere

2011-09-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

I have SO much...I just can't. I have no words. Seriously.

First there was a birthday dinner with my best girls at BJ's Brewery. Love them to infinity!

Then was the best Dirty South weekend ever! Please note that Libba Bray greeted me like the besties we are!

My first funnel cake EVER! YUM!

Only a tiny portion of the 26 books I carted with me to have signed!

I met Rachel Hawkins! She was funny awesome and then funny and awesome again! Plus she recognized me from Twitter!

All my Nestie Besties who didn't let oppressive heat, long signing lines, or a Festival volunteer on a power trip stop our good times in book nerdery. Love these girls!

Leah and I at birthday brunch in Alabama (with mimosas!). She is totally my sister from another mister. Feel free to massively envy our adorableness.

My perfectly pink birthday cake made especially for me by Crystal. It was really hard for me not to cry at the sweetness and generosity of all of my wonderful friends.

And then this happened. Yup...I'm best friends with Libba Bray.

I love my friends SO much!! This birthday has been my favorite of every birthday I've ever had because I got to spend it with so many awesome people. This trip to the South was the perfect way to cap off my summer!

PS- You may notice that there is no mention of Stephanie Perkins. That's because my interaction with her was so awesome...she gets her own post. Stay tuned.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-09-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

Me and my complimentary Pizzokie from BJ's Brewery.

It's officially my birthday! I have had the best birthday weekend here in the Dirty South and feel so immensely grateful to all of my sweet friends for making me feel so special these last few days! SO MANY THINGS have happened and I can't wait to go on and on about them, but right now I'm in Alabama with my fabulous friend Leah and her beautiful brand new baby boy and plan on spending the day soaking in baby cuddles and bestie goodness before hopping a plane back to reality*. Catch you on the flip side! Feel free to wish me a happy birthday multiple times today!

*Reality means changing time zones 4 times in 4 days. Reality is going to totally bite tomorrow.

Friday Five! Birthday Edition!

2011-09-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

Ok so maybe I like exclamation points! Here are my five!

!!!

1. It's my birthday weekend! I'm so excited because this year my birthday falls on Labor Day so I really have no choice but to celebrate for the entire weekend! Isn't that awesome? Truthfully, I consider my birthday sphere or Birthday Princess Week as it's officially titled to be the first seven days in September. My sister's birthday is the last day of August so to be fair I don't include her day in my BPW, and celebrating the additional two days afterward gives me the opportunity to receive well wishes (and presents) from any stragglers. Really, it's a win/win.

2. Funny story: My birthday is on Labor Day, but my mother did not go into actual labor with me at all. I was one of those C-section appointments, she made it for September 5th, went in at around 7am, and I was born at 9:20. My other two siblings have incredibly detailed stories about the birthday, mine...not so much. I was also the tiniest out of my mother's 3 children at 5lbs 12oz...the irony of me being the largest of us as an adult has not escaped me.

3. I'm so excited for DBF this weekend! I'm starting to become a bit anxious since I'm traveling so far and all by myself for the first time. I've flown to Vegas alone before, but it's an hour flight from here as opposed to the four hours it'll take me to get to Atlanta. Plus I'm bringing around 20 books with me so I have to check my bag. I tried to avoid it but my little carry-on couldn't withstand the immense weight of all the books. Please pray that my bag arrives safely with all of my books I want to have signed! I'm sure all those books means I'll come back with a few things to giveaway...after all it wouldn't be a birthday without presents!

4. Speaking of DBF, have I should mention how stoked I am to hang out with all of my nestie besties this weekend? These ladies who I spend huge portions of my day with are amazing and sweet and funny and kind and make me laugh forever. It's going to be a blast finally meeting them most of them in person and being incredibly socially awkward (as I do) and overcompensating by being loud and overexcited. I am the human equivalent of a chihuahua when I'm nervous so I'm sure they'll think I'm a completely insane by the end of the weekend but no matter...I can't wait to hang with all of them and take tons of pictures!

5. Last night a few of my friends and I went out to dinner for my birthday. I had the best time and had to stop myself from getting all choked up when I looked around the room and saw how blessed I am. I'm super sappy on normal occasions but when it's my birthday and my friends all took time to drive (some from really long distances) to celebrate with me well...let's just say I cried happy tears when I got home and uploaded all the pictures to Facebook.* I didn't even make a list of things I wanted this year, I think for the first time in a really long time I'm completely happy and in my advanced age have come to the conclusion that everything I have is enough.

Happy 30ish Birthday to Me!**

*Immediately uploading pictures to Facebook is proof that fun times were had and most decidedly how I roll.

**If you've already wished me a Happy Birthday, thank you and please feel free to do so again on Monday.***

***Or by Wednesday the 7th at the very latest.

Pinteresting

2011-08-31T11:30:00.000-07:00

The Internet is a marvelous way to waste time. My latest favorite wayto waste mine is by using Pinterest. Sometimes the photos arehilarious. Sometimes they are poignant. Sometimes they seem to reachinside my mind and shake loose a thought that's been stuck there forawhile, but more often than not, it's a photo of a dog in a funny costume. I'm very easily amused.

Feel free to enjoy what strikes my fancy as I procrastinate.

Aurora the Hipster

Black girls surfing! FTW!

Is there anything more adorable than Paul Rudd? He is still kind of a Baldwin.

The Old Spice Guy owns me.

This baby wins above all babies.

Prince Harry fixing the Duchess' wedding gown after the carriage ride. Swoon squared.

If I had this dress I would never take it off, not even to sleep.

Admittedly fangirly...but can you blame me?

Harrumph...

I would love to have this body! It would be the milkshake that brings all the boys to my yard.

I. Can't. Even.

All pics obtained from Pinterest

So what do you like to Pinterest?

Which is your favorite?

Are you following me yet because you totally should be!

(I may or may not have a board that's full of nothing but pink things!)

Conference Crashing

2011-08-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month I got the chance to crash a SCBWI conference in Los Angeles. Not the whole thing just the last part of the final day, but it was a really awesome last part of the final day. I have mentioned before how I often times don't feel like a real writer because I don't show my work to anyone. This hasn't changed, in fact it's become even more of an issue for me despite what Dave Eggers said to me. I needed a little push, some sort of spark to get me going in the right direction so when a few of my writing buddies were talking about going I figured I'd hang out with them a little since two of them live on the east coast and some of my favorite authors were in attendance.

I was lucky enough to attend the closing keynote of the conference which was given by Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak which is one of my favorite books ever. I read Speak a really long time ago, but Melinda's story resonated with me so much, I still think about it to this day. There are so many relevant themes in that book that can be applied to just about any situation. It's just amazing writing. Laurie's brilliance completely translated into her keynote because every word she said hit me exactly where I needed to be hit. She talked about writing and discipline and how art destroys the universe. She was so unbelievably awesome. I felt like a sponge soaking in all of the incredible creative juju right from my seat.

Afterward, there was a signing with a bunch of the authors that attended the conference, so I got the chance to get a copy of Speak signed by Laurie. While I was in line, my friend Jessica and I were talking about someone who asked Laurie to sign the book for her daughter to read in the future. I thought that was such an amazing idea, especially as I thought back to how the princess had been bullied in school earlier this year and was too afraid to speak up for fear of feeling like a snitch. Now I realize that the subject matter is a bit heavy for an almost 8 year old, so I thought the best thing to do would be to have Laurie sign it to the princess, and give it to her in about 5 years. When I finally got the chance to talk to Laurie, I told her why I wanted to have her sign the book for my daughter and how grateful I am to her for writing a book like Speak. She grabbed my hand and told me I was a great mom...I tried not to cry all over her in front such a huge group of people and very nearly succeeded.

I quickly got myself together and stood in an epically long line to have my copy of Beauty Queens signed by Libba Bray. Libba is one of those authors that I got to know through Twitter. I know that she has written a bunch of books like the Gemma Doyle Trilogy and Going Bovine, but I always loved her because of how hilarious she is via tweet....and that she is practically besties with David Levithan...and she has a band. She just seemed like such an awesome chick and I was happy to see that when I finally got to meet her, my assumption was right. We had a really fun couple of minutes together and she laughed at something I said (like full on hahaha belly laughed) and it made my entire day. This is what she signed in my book:

I know right?

Between all of the good creative juju and meeting two great authors, and a bunch of upcoming authors with books about to be released, I must have awoken something in myself because I've been writing non stop since then. It is such a blessing to be around people who are so driven and passionate about the writing process. I just felt an overall sense of camaraderie, especially with friends from my writing group because we all ultimately have the same goal, even if we are all in different stages of seeing it to fruition. After the conference I have so much faith and confidence in what I'm doing. Writing is actually making me happy now instead of angsty, stressed out, depressed, and full of not good enough-ness, which are totally the emotions it invoked before.

Hopefully my trip to the Decatur Book Festival this weekend will keep my streak going and I'll have enough mojo to last through to next year! Either way I'll get to see my new bff Libba Bray there!

Oh and speaking of good writing and juju, don't forget to enter my 100 followers giveaway for a pre-ordered copy of John Green's upcoming release The Fault in Our Stars! Did I mentioned that all copies will be signed by the author?

Friday Five

2011-08-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! I can't believe how fast the summer has gone by! I think I say that every year but this one seriously feels like a big blur. I figured I'd dedicate my Friday Five to the things I have loved most about this summer.

1. I went back to school! I started at the end of May and have been on a roll! I started at a new school and it was summer session so I took two classes. One new thing I had to get used to is writing in APA format instead of MLA which was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I managed to make straight A's...just barely in one class but I'm proud of myself regardless. Fall semester is going to be a doozy with classes like Statistics, Accounting, Economics, and Nutrition. Think good thoughts for me to make it through until December!

2. Since I started to go back to school AND I've been working more seriously on my writing this summer, I was in desperate need for a new computer! I've been using a netbook for almost two years now and I have a desktop but in computer years it's practically a dinosaur. Thanks to an unexpected summer bonus, financial aid, and money I've been squirreling away, I was able to buy a brand new HP Laptop! My status as a full time student led me to a discount on the HP website for around 30% off the normal price and best of all...it's PINK! I wavered back and forth on getting a Macbook vs. a PC because most of my writing group has Macs and are always talking about how much they love it. As much as I want to have one, dropping $1100 on a computer is completely against my frugal nature and I've never actually used a Mac so there would be a huge learning curve there as well. I'm happy to maintain my status as a PC girl and a cheapskate while still having a new toy to play with. Here are some hastily snapped cell phone pics of my new baby...I'm still trying to think of an appropriate name for her.

Why yes that is John Green's Tumblr page on my screen...more on that later.

3. I've barely seen the princess this summer. (sad panda) Thanks to shared custody she's been with her dad for the majority of the last 2 1/2 months and I miss her like crazy! The plus side of her being gone is the amount of free time that I've had. It's been nice, even though work has been so busy this summer I mainly just came home exhausted, ate a spoonful of Nutella for dinner, and was in bed by 9pm. I did however, manage to do a few fun things like go to the movies on a random Tuesday night and see The Help and Crazy Stupid Love. (both awesome btw), do a ton of shopping for new clothes and shoes for both myself and the princess, and I saw a Matthew Mayfield show in Hollywood. I also went on the best Vegas trip EVER. (When a round of applause breaks out as you and your girlfriends exit the elevator...trust that's an awesome trip!)

4. John Green is awesome in every season, but his birthday was this past week and I just love him to death as an author, as a person, and just as an everyday part of my existence. Thanks to a faulty gallbladder I missed out on seeing him at the SCBWI conference I crashed earlier this month. I did get to meet a few awesome authors (more on that in the future) but I would have loved to have met John (again) and been less freaking spastic this time. One of my favorite things about John Green is that when he mentions something, it somehow ends up becoming a huge deal. For example in a recent vlogbrothers video his brother Hank mentioned that he liked a certain part of John's face. Now there is a Tumblr* completely dedicated to pictures of that part of his face. Let's not even talk about the awesome way he gave such a huge stamp of approval to one of my favorite books, Anna and the French Kiss.

5. So don't think I haven't noticed that even with all of my lackluster blogging this summer, I managed to get over 100 followers! I'm seriously shocked by this since in my head the only person who would ever want to read anything I write is my mother. To celebrate this and the fact the John Green was born thirty-ish years ago, I decided to do a giveaway of one pre-ordered copy** of John's eagerly anticipated new book, The Fault in Our Stars which will be released January 12, 2012. If you're a fan (as I am) you know that every copy of the first printing of TFiOS will be signed by John, meaning that if you win...yours will be too!

To enter:
a) Be a follower of this blog via that nice thingy on the right hand side of the screen. ===>
b) Comment and tell me two things. Thing 1: What was your favorite thing about this summer? Thing 2: What's your favorite John Green novel? If you've never read John Green...go here and tell me which one you'd like to read first.
c) Also, I'd love some feedback on what you like/don't like about reading my blog. It's not mandatory or anything but after checking my stats and seeing which posts are the most popular, I'm really curious.

Contest is open internationally and runs until 11:59PM on Labor Day, Sept. 5th 2011 (the unofficial end of summer)***

Good luck and thanks for reading!

*Am I old for not understanding Tumblr? I know you read, and do something called 'reblog' instead of comment...it's just so confusing. Every Tumblr I follow looks like a regular blog or just posts pretty pictures, otherwise, I'm just lost. In the spirit of full disclosure I got completely distracted while writing this post reading John's Tumblr and looking at all the pics dedicated to that part of his face. Darn you Internet!

**I'm pre-ordering from Amazon since I have Amazon Prime and won't have to pay for shipping. I'm generous...but not a millionaire. Also you WILL NOT GET YOUR BOOK UNTIL JANUARY! But it will be signed!

***That's my birthday!

Frog Kissing Confessions

2011-08-24T15:15:00.000-07:00

I have been single for over 6 years now. To put in context for you, the last time I had a boyfriend, there were only four Harry Potter movies. I have dated here and there, but obviously none of it has ended well. I could wax philosophical about all the reasons why but basically it boils down to a few simple truths.

I met my ex-husband when I was 19. Until that point, my romantic history was scant at best. I was never the girl with a boyfriend, in fact the ex was my first real relationship. Due to this and marrying so young, I never really learned how to date or how to read signals or anything remotely in that arena. First I was too awkward and emo to even really think about boys and then I was married so I didn't have to worry about it. I had crushes and stuff of course, but none of them ever amounted to much, I did have one boyfriend as a teenager and our relationship mainly took place via telephone.

After my divorce I was kind of lost for awhile and my self esteem was really low and I jumped into a relationship with someone who was completely wrong for me just so I could feel like the ex wasn't winning. I recognize that now, but definitely couldn't see it then.

When that faux-mance ended, I decided to date casually and figure out what I actually wanted from a relationship. Then the terrible, awful worst date ever happened and made me swear off men for a very long time.

After putting the search on hiatus, I concentrated on my daughter, my career, and my friends thinking that if love was supposed to happen for me, then it would.

But it didn't.

I remained single and watched nearly all of my close girlfriends get married. As much as I love my friends being the singleton in a group of couples can become very trying after awhile. No amount of 'you're so fabulous'es can negate the fact that when the night ends, I have no one to go home with or to.

So I thought perhaps it was time to start dating again.

This summer has given me the perfect opportunity of getting back on the horse again since the princess is with her dad. Suddenly I have random Tuesday nights free and have no idea what to do with myself other than watch reruns of Basketball Wives.

Being the proactive woman I am, I decided to set up a few dating website profiles, go speed dating, and basically just get out and experience things. I figured at the very least I could see what kind of guys I'd meet and maybe get the chance to be more social this summer.

Guess what happened?

Epic douchebaggery. That's what. Married men, liars, freaks...it's been a serious parade of WTF. My mind was boggled by how many guys are really just looking to get into someone's pants. Capital G gross.

If you follow me on Twitter you'll notice that last Friday I was a wee bit melancholy over my dating situation. I went on a date with the final nail in the douchebag coffin and decided that I couldn't take it anymore. It doesn't seem worth it, especially for someone like me who's looking for the real thing and won't settle for anything less.

I ended up spending the rest of my night on Pinterest and trying to electronically pin board my way to happiness. Not the best plan.

So I'm shifting my focus just a bit. I have an awesome life. One that any man would be lucky to be a part of, so I'm just going to continue keeping my awesome life awesome and not worry so much about a plus one. Sometimes you just have to surrender to the fact that something that you have been hoping for isn't necessarily going to happen for you right away or maybe even at all. I think I have officially hit that place.

Singledom isn't a death sentence or even a permanent situation (though at times it feels like it). I was perfectly happy until I decided that I needed a summer romance. It only made me miserable and angsty and a little insane. I don't need that. I'm sure one day I'll be back on the smug married side but for now I'm content to be a smug single and eat ice cream in bed or spend an exorbitant amount of money on books with no one to give me the side eye.

See...it's really not so bad being me.

Waking Up in Vegas

2011-07-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

After last year's disastrous Las Vegas trip I was a bit nervous to go again even though I was going with a group of ladies with whom I always manage to have a blast. Intellectually, I know what happened to me was little more than the residual effects of the demon alcohol and had nothing to do with my level of adorableness but my inner 14 year old, who is often in control of my insecurities and emotions, wouldn't let it go. I made a grown woman’s decision that for this trip to Vegas I needed to do something to move on from all of that negative self-deprecating crap. Luckily I happen to be friends with some seriously gorgeous women and I just decided to slap myself right in the middle of them and dare I say it...strut.

First I needed to find the Holy Grail for a Vegas going girl, a hot dress. Now if you were to see me in regular life you would see a woman in black framed glasses, jeans, a ponytail, and some form of Old Navy tee. Hot dresses are rarely a factor in my life so I was excited to find one in the most expected of places, Forever 21. Normally I wouldn’t even think to shop inside of a Forever 21 for a multitude of reasons, one of which is me not being a pre-pubescent 8th grader which I felt was their target demographic. After perusing their website and recovering from shock that they now have a plus size line, I headed to my local F21 and scouted for a hot, figure flattering, Vegas worthy dress and I found it. A strapless silvery gray dress with big sparkles that was not only gorgeous on the hanger but also on my body! It was showing a LOT of skin which is very new for me but it hugged me in all the right places and made my skin look rich and luscious. (Nothing I love more than luscious looking skin) With a little help from a sexy smoky eye including glam lashes, sparkly silver heels, and my fairy godmothers Spanx and Underwire…I totally rocked it.

Can you say strut? I think you can. (Forgive this horrid picture; Vesper Bar in The Cosmopolitan is SO dark!)

Please enjoy this photo of myself and the hotties I call friends.

The next morning I was still so happy from my night out and having such a good time with my friends and feeling absolutely awesome about myself (and maybe slightly hung over) that I decided to keep my strut vibe going. Usually day time in Vegas is spent pooling it. Usually a pool means a bathing suit and I was still a bit traumatized from my last trip and a bit reluctant to put one on in public again. I still had the same suit from last year that I loved and since I go swimming maybe twice a year I saw no need to buy a new one, plus I liked the way that one looked on me when I first bought it. So I wore it and my cute faux aviator sunglasses, and we went down to the pool. No one yelled obscenities at me or even looked at me cross-eyed so my bikini clad friends and I lounged, stood, drank, and relaxed with zero to no fanfare. I was in a bathing suit for HOURS and no one died or yelled “Hey Shamu!” or anything. I was just another girl by the pool. Isn’t that fabulous?

Here I am…wearing a bathing suit in public and totally owning it.

So in conclusion, quite a few lessons were learned on this trip:

1.       Always consider the source.
2.       Sparkles make everything better.
3.       It’s called SELF esteem for a reason. No one else should ever effect how I feel about ME.
4.       I have a wicked awesome Australian accent. (Another story for another day.)
5.       When in doubt...relax, smile, and strut.

Just a Little Appreciation

2011-07-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

1. Quidditch is the best word (and game) ever.

2. Ginger Love

3. Seven books and not a convoluted plot device to be found in any of them.

4. Rupert Grint (see #2)

5. .Severus Snape. Oh sweet Severus Snape.

6. Dobby is a free elf

7. Hermione Granger is a kick ass heroine. She is bloody brilliant, saved their clueless arses time and time again while mananging to still be swoony over a boy and maintain perfect wavy tendrils.

8. Not my daughter you bitch.

9. Neville Longbottom. The beating pulsing heartbeat from the very beginning.

10. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."~ Albus Dumbledore

My childhood didn't die. I still had to get up and go to work today and my life isn't over but good gravy I love these books and yes, I absolutely love each of the films for bringing my beloved books to life. Thanks JK Rowling and Warner Bros. for giving me such a sweet escape.

Sniffle.

Book Nerd, Southern Style

2011-07-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

I have never really been spontaneous. In fact I tend to over think things so much that in the end I become so over the entir.e idea that I don't end up doing it. Well this year I'm trying to do more things that are out of my comfort zone and stop over thinking myself to death. So when I was speaking with a bunch of my friends who live in the southeast about a book festival in Atlanta this September, they were all trying to convince another friend of mine to go, as if me NOT going was pretty much a foregone conclusion. Knowing me as they do, that was a perfect assumption, but as they were talking about what authors were going to be there, rooming together in hotels, and just general merriment I started to feel jealous. Why couldn't I go? What exactly was stopping me?

My envy led me to the website of the Decatur Book Festival and when I saw the date and author line up, my fate was sealed. It's Labor Day weekend, which if you've been paying attention is my birthday princess time.What better way to ring in another 30ish year than by getting my book nerd on? Second decision clinching fact, Stephanie Perkins is going to be there. Now again, if you've been paying attention, you know that I am die hard in my love for Stephanie's debut novel Anna and the French Kiss which was released last year. I've purchased copies for my friends, lobbied for us to discuss it in my book club, and ~~stalk~~ follow Stephanie through various forms of social media. In short, I love her and think she should be my best friend (I tend to think this way about people who are incredibly awesome since like attracts like.)

This whole Atlanta/book festival thing was totally made for me right? So I bought my ticket and started making travel plans. Not to say that my over thinking didn't rear it's ugly head again because it did but then I thought of something else that made me immediately click BUY NOW. One of my favorite people in the world, my friend Leah lives in the area and sadly can't attend because she's incubating a wee one who will definitely be born by the time the festival gets here. So instead of going to the festival, she gets to spend time with me which is almost as good! I also get to spend loads of time with a bunch of awesome women that I spend large bulks of my day with via Internet, so I'm excited to revel in their general fabulousity in person for the first time! For your viewing pleasure, I have included a picture of myself and Leah being incredibly adorable together. Feel free to be jealous.

Oh and as a bonus to me meeting Stephanie Perkins (besides the obvious), I entered a blog giveaway on one of my favorite blogs, The Nerd's Wife for an ARC of Stephanie's new book Lola and the Boy Next Door which is being released AFTER DBF. Chagrin right? Wouldn't it be cool if I won? (Giveaway link here, feel free to enter as me and increase my odds!) Luckily Arena, author of The Nerd's Wife is allowing a bunch of extra entries for tweeting, Facebooking, and blogging about the giveaway and I'm doing all of them, because my book nerdery is as always, hardcore.

Now I have a plane ticket, a general travel plan, the princess is safe and secure, and I have a matching set of pink luggage. I am so ready for the Dirty South! Let's just hope the Dirty South is ready for me!

That One Time At LATFOB

2011-07-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm extremely late with this post and I know it. The LA Times Festival of Books was months ago now and I still haven't shared all of the fabulous things that happened, my apologies!

Southern California weather is notoriously unpredictable in the spring. The day of FOB was what I like to term "hot as balls". I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to why. Despite the sweltering temperatures, I managed to once again freak my freak over a few incredible authors and have the best time ever!

The morning started with a YA panel featuring Ally Condie, author of Matched. Matched was one of those books with a lot of buzz so I was excited to read it (amazing btw) but even more I was really pleased to learn that Ally is a mom of two small kids and still manages to churn out incredible books. She did talk a bit about her writing style and why she loves to write YA and then she read a little from Matched. Of course my favorite part of any author event is the signing.

Me with Ally (She is SO nice!)

What Ally wrote in my book while I ~~spazzed out and babbled incessantly~~ told her about how I'm a mom who struggles to find time to write but find it very inspiring that she's been able to create a hit series.(Look for Crossed out later this year!)

After lunch, I had what I call the "John Green Moment". This is what I dub any moment at an author event where I in fact lose my mind from the awesomeness. Last year, it was of course when John Green was in love with me for approximately 32 seconds before my book nerd bestie and resident blonde bombshell Jessica met him right after me and promptly stole him away. Good times.

Anyway, the JGM of this year's festival when I met Dave Eggers author such books as A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, The Wild Things, and We Shall Know Our Velocity. Dave had done a panel with Patti Smith earlier that afternoon which we forgot we needed tickets for and ended up missing. Luckily there was a signing right afterward and we were able to get in line for it. When it was close to our turn in line I realized that we wouldn't be able to take any pictures with Dave (thanks to some very um, devoted festival volunteers) so I took a few candids of him for posterity.

Then came the best thing in the history of best things, when I told him I was also a writer and that his words were beautiful and inspirational, he asked me what I was writing. I told him, "just a contemporary story about relationships" and he said, "are you trying to get it published?" Then I said, "I guess so but I'm just scared of showing it to anyone." His response, "get people you trust to read it, and then let go of the fear." Then he signed my book...wait for it.

(I KNOW RIGHT?!?)

He also signed Jessica's book with something awesome but I was DEAD from what he wrote in mine so I can't remember.

Later on that afternoon was another great panel with two of my favorite YA authors ever, Gayle Forman author of If I Stay and Where She Went, and Robin Benway, author of Audrey Wait!, and The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May, and June.

They were of course awesome. Gayle even remembered me (the vision in pink) from last year and was very sweet as a fangirled all over her. Please forgive my giddy expression, I was incredibly excited to get my copy of Where She Went signed!

Robin Benway and I needed a picture redo since I was incredibly heinous in the last one I took with her. I think fabulousity was achieved despite the fact that I was glistening like a pig.

PS- Don't we look like best friends? PPS- We totally do!

One of the best parts of the Festival of Books experience is spending time with good friends. This year I had quite a few friends make the trek to the west coast for FOB and it was awesome to be able to spend time with them.

(forgive the poor quality of the last two pics which I shamelessly stole from Facebook)

I had such a blast, my only regret is that I didn't wear something more conducive to the weather. That being said, I still looked cute so I guess a little heatstroke was worth it.

I can't wait for next year!

Book Review: Two Kisses for Maddy by Matthew Logelin

2011-06-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

My reading habits have been abysmal this year. I don’t think I finished a book in March or April and that is just a tragedy. Luckily, I was able to bounce out of my reading slump with a truly incredible memoir by a local author and way famous blogger, Matthew Logelin. I have followed his blog fairly regularly the last few years as has most of the people in my social circle, plus he was on Oprah, so I knew the story of the untimely death of his wife Liz a day after the birth of their daughter Madeline.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a complete sap. I cry at commercials, greeting cards, notes the Princess writes for me, basically I will tear up at the drop of a hat.

Since I felt so personally connected to Matt, Maddy, and Liz’s story from reading his blog, I was very hesitant to read his book because I knew that I would spend the majority of the time I was reading in the ugliest cry imaginable. Then my friend Wan volunteered to host book club and through her ~~stalking~~ attendance at several of Matt’s book signings, they became quite friendly and he happily agreed to come to our book club and be a part of our discussion.

I know right? How awesome is that?

So basically, I had to man up and read the book, which btw I had already bought and had sitting in my always bountiful “to be read” pile on my bookshelf. I decided to read it in stages so I could limit the amount of ugly cry, but really, I was a mess by the second page of the foreword and just decided to push through and read the whole thing in one sitting only stopping to blow my nose and check Twitter.

So anyway, the book is awesome. When someone opens themselves up to the degree that Matt has, you really can’t help but love it. It’s real, and raw, and overpowering in its emotion but in a totally good way. I felt very fortunate to be allowed this kind of access into such a tragic and personal event. I was moved by Matt’s candor and by the fact that he was not afraid to write completely as himself, (f-bombs and all) and just talk about the real truth of what it’s like to lose your best friend and life partner, how angry and scared he was, and how difficult it is to raise a kid on your own when you were completely unprepared to do so.

Matt’s presence at our book club was quite frankly, amazeballs. He is truly one of the nicest, most down to earth people I have ever met, and I don’t just mean out of authors, I mean literally in the thousands of people I’ve had the fortune (or misfortune) of meeting, he’s probably in the top 20, maybe even 10 if I sat and thought about it. Since I was all author-struck and also in a food coma from all of the awesome grub we had at book club (oh yes, we are hardcore about our menu and it is always the bomb dot com) I neglected to take any pictures, plus part of me felt like a huge a-hole taking pics of the poor man and his child for my own posterity (you know said pictures would totally end up on Facebook) when he was so sweet to come and talk about his book with us. Luckily Wan…who btw, is a fabulous hostess and photographer took a bunch of pictures of the entire day and posted them on her blog, where you can see Matt, my fabulous book club ladies, and me in my signature color (naturally) grinning like an idiot.

I definitely recommend reading this book, just be sure to bring along with a box of tissues and an open heart because once you’ve finished it may be filled with hope and gratitude as mine most surely was.

One of Life's Highlights...

2011-06-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

The unexpected opportunity to go to a fabulous wedding.

Having a blast at said wedding.

Then capping the night by making of a complete arse of yourself in the photo booth.

Totally and completely FTW.

Just a Tale...No Fairies.

2011-06-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

Picture it. Los Angeles, 2005.

A 25 year old recently divorced single mother of a not quite two year old little girl moves out of her mother's house where she'd been staying since her husband kicked her out of their home at 8 months pregnant into a one bedroom apartment. This marks the first time in her quarter century of life that she's been truly on her own. No husband, no mom, just her. She makes only slightly above minimum wage and has no college degree, only determination to not ever be dependent on anyone and to give her daughter the best life possible.

She goes back to school, surrounds herself with really good friends, and contemplates dating again.

Then she has some setbacks. She loses her job when the company folds and has to scramble to get another one. She starts dating a series of losers, that she will later on refer to humorously as The Thug, The Homeless, and The Jizzer.

Then she gets sick. Super sick and depressed and scared and worried that she'll spend her daughter's formative years withering away into nothing and never get the chance to see her princess graduate from high school or college or get a tattoo or get married or have her own children.

She wallows. She cries. She hibernates inside her apartment watching bad reality tv. She loathes her ex and his former mistress now wife and everything their happily ever after represents.

Miraculously, some months later she finds out she's going to be ok. It's a long road to recovery and she's swamped in medical bills but she's just happy she's healthy again.

She gets another job where she's on the bottom of the totem pole but it's a good company where she thinks she'll be happy.

She stops focusing on her ex, moves into a bigger apartment, devotes herself to her relationship with her daughter and manages to make some new friends and reevaluate her relationships with her old ones. Her little girl is beautiful and smart and sassy and truly the best part of her life.

She doesn't have money for fancy things, just your basic necessities with a few treats here and there. For the first time in her life she has her own room and for the first time in years she has an actual bed...mattress AND boxspring. Her daughter is happy, she's happy and feels like life can only improve.

Today that girl is 30ish woman. She still feels like life can only get better from here and knows that if she works hard, she can do anything. (Yes she knows how cheesy she sounds) In fact, she was recently promoted to the top position in her company and given a raise that has moved her into a different tax bracket for the first time in a decade. She still has to watch her pennies because we are after all in a recession and she's notoriously frugal, but the burden of near poverty has been considerably lightened and she's able to think of a future with extras.

She wishes she could go back in time to hug her 25 year old self and tell her that everything is going to be just fine and it really actually does get better. Her life isn't perfect, but it's hers and she's in control of it. Whether she gets married again, has more children, or ever actually inspires John Mayer to pledge his love to her through song is yet to be determined but looking back on all she's survived only makes her confident that her future is incredibly bright and she's ready for whatever else may come.

PS- You totally get that this girl is me right?

PPS- I know you're not an idiot...I was just checking.

PPPS- John Mayer if you're reading this...feel free to start experimenting with melodies anytime.

Grievances: Celebrity Edition

2011-06-07T05:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Celebrity Media Peeps,

Justin Bieber is 17. Selena Gomez is 18. Publishing pictures of them making out is incredibly inappropriate and borderline pedophilic. You might as well lurk on a high school campus after a Sadie Hawkins dance. See? Gross. Cut it out before I sic Chris Hanson on you.

Sincerely,

Someone's Mother

Dear Governator,

Really? Really? Really?

Sincerely,

REALLY?

Dear Kim Kardashian,

Congratulations on your engagement. Can I maybe *not*see you for awhile now? Pretty please?

Sincerely,

Totally Over Keeping Up With You

Dear Maria Shriver,

It gets better. I promise.

Xoxo,

Been there, done that

PS- Please say hi to Oprah and ask if she got my email!

Dear 2008 version of me,

Twilight sucks. Snap out of it or you will spend a year contemplating the biological components of vampire semen...no, seriously you will.

Sincerely,

The 2011 and obviously much smarter version of you

Dear 1996 version of me,

Why yes, Leo is beautiful in that fish tank but he prefers young and leggy blondes. That will never be us.

Sincerely,

Already Faced Reality...pass the Nachos

Dear People who make The Bachelor/Bachelorette,

Thank you for continuing to validate me as a rational, sane and together woman who will never ever go on television to fight 24 other chicks for a man. Nor will I have to select a husband from a group of emotional damaged man children.

Sincerely,

Here for the Right Reasons

Cinna-matic Proportions

2011-05-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

We all know how I feel about books turned into films. The book is almost exclusively better than the film version but I still like to judge the film version as a separate entity. When I first heard that my beloved Hunger Games series was going to be turned into a movie I was nervous. I didn't want the books ruined but I was also eager to see all of my beloved characters come to life. Then I heard that the author herself Suzanne Collins wrote the screenplay is very involved in the film making process. I decided then and there that I would give the process to God and eagerly anticipate the release of the first film fully trusting that as much as I love this story and these characters, their creator loves them just as much if not more and wouldn't let anything bad happen to them.

Then it was announced that the role of Cinna would be played by Lenny Kravitz.

This news was conflicting for me. Cinna is my favorite character in the books because he represents heart, truth, creativity, fabulousity, and true artistry. He has such a pivotal role in the story, I had doubts about Lenny because he was not the Cinna in my imagination.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some Lenny Kravitz just as much as I love me some Cinna, (if not more), but in a vastly different way. My feelings for Lenny are um, a woman's feelings. They are dark, raw, dangerous, carnal, and incredibly specific. I don't really feel like that about Cinna.

Let's just say I would never fling my panties at Cinna in invitation to have Biblical knowledge of me. But Lenny Kravitz? Totally.

I saw Lenny in Precious and thought he did a great job but his part was so small I really didn't get that great of an impression of his acting range. This made me even more conflicted about his ability to become Cinna.

So I had to process.

The more I thought about it, the more I decided that Lenny being cast could actually be a brilliant move.

Since the story takes place in a dystopian society, all of our present day stereotypes are pretty much out the window. I was so worried that because he's a "stylist" they would turn Cinna into an arm flailing, vest wearing, glitter spraying, catch phrase spouting, Jack McFarland-esque character and that would be a tragedy. Think Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element or any of the gay men on Real Housewives of Atlanta and you'll understand my fear. Cinna is so much more than your token gay standing in the background snapping in a Z formation*.

So now the ultimate aviatior shade wearing, guitar playing, Lisa Bonet marrying knocking up and divorcing, ripped abs having rock god in the part. Lenny Kravitz is a badass. He is sexy, commanding, creative, funky, unconventional, and also incredibly masculine. I can't wait to see how he brings Cinna to life and I hope he rocks the crap out of it with the style and panache with which he does everything else.

I also hope that one day he'll want to make out with me and let me wear one of his leather jackets, then have mocha mix babies that we'll raise in a luxurious beach house, but that is of course another story.

*Just want to clarify that there is nothing wrong with being a gay stereotype, token or otherwise. There is also nothing wrong with snapping in Z formation to emphasize a point...in fact I highly recommend it.

Excuse me while I ugly cry

2011-05-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Oprah's leaving today.

I'm inconsolable.

Incon-freaking-solable I say!

I lived my entire life with Oprah in the background somewhere.

When I was a little girl, she was Sophia, the tough as nails character from The Color Purple. I used to recite her entire "you told Harpo to beat me" speech for family's amusement at holidays and gatherings.

Growing up, she was always on my TV, giving my grandmother and great grandmother fodder for conversation about cheating husbands, losing weight, and a plethora of other topics that plagued people in the 80s.

As a tween and teenager, I remember rushing home after school to watch her show. I'll never forget the Valentine's Day episode one year when she had New Kids on the Block on and they sang "I'll Be Loving You (Forever)" and I died a million teenagery deaths.

Remember that one time, she drank red wine with Johnny Depp to toast his performance in Finding Neverland?

She's amazing. She somehow convinced an entire population of people that sparkly Ugg boots are attractive...even me! And I hate Ugg boots!

She managed to interview James Frey (whom I loathe) and make me slightly sympathetic to him. (Only slightly...he's still douche-tastic as far as I'm concerned)

I have loved her, learned from her, and cried buckets of tears both from laughter and sadness experiencing her show.

I would have no idea what the heck a Moscow Mule was if it weren't for her. (Side note: BEST DRINK EVER! If you like ginger beer and being drunk...have one! I plan on tipping mine tonight in honor of Lady O.)

I know she has her network, (which I really like btw) but she still won't be on my TV everyday expounding her wonderful Oprah-isms, and giving away stuff to a freaked out audience.

My favorite Oprah-ism: God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can ever dream for yourself.

My second favorite Oprah-ism: When you know better, you do better.

Who's going to give me my isms? This is a sad day friends. My abandonment issues are on full blast. I don't think I can watch the final show today. I might wait until the weekend when I can ugly cry to my heart's content.

Doesn't it suck that good things always come to an end?