I Found Love in a Hopeless Place

Tuesday: MAY I tell you something about myself?

I was 10 years old when I fell in love for the very first time.

His name was Office Tom Hanson and he was an undercover cop on a TV show called 21 Jumpstreet.

At the time, I don’t remember if I knew that his real name was Johnny Depp. I just knew that Officer Tom Hanson was a good cop with beautiful cheekbones, he often sported a headband, and he looked like this.

Um…swoon.

I think I slept with my copy of Sassy magazine with him on the cover for months.

Not too long after my love began, Officer Tom Hanson left Jumpstreet and was replaced by some greasy haired poser named Richard Grieco. That is of course when I stopped watching the show altogether.

Later on though, when Officer Tom Hanson became Johnny Depp and turned all independent quirky actor he went on to star in one of my favorite movies, Edward Scissorhands. Since Officer Tom Hanson looked nothing like a dude in a leather jumpsuit sporting scissors for hands, I focused less on my crush and more on the magicalness of the film.

Johnny still remains one of my first true original loves, even though sometimes he looks like this.

Or this.

Or even this.

It’s nice when he remembers that he’s beautiful and will suddenly show up in a film looking like this.

And this.

Good times.

Another one of my favorite Johnny Depp movies is What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?.  Funnily enough, I would end up later falling in love with someone else in that movie, though at the time he played a developmentally disabled teen and I only knew him as the cute kid from Growing Pains.

I think Johnny somehow became number two in my affections somewhere around here.

Why yes that is Leo in a fish tank.

Should I even mention how many times I’ve watched The Great Gatsby trailer?

The moral of this story? I was fangirling before it was a thing.

Oh and you never forget your first love.

The Alphabet Game

Tuesday: May I tell you something about myself?

No we're not going to play a drinking game where we name cities in alphabetical order and when you miss you drink bourbon only to get stinking drunk and have to get picked up by your older sister Denise who just so happens to be home from Africa with her Naval officer husband and precocious stepdaughter. 

Cosby Show anyone? Anyone? 

When I saw this survey on my friend Jessica's blog, I knew I needed to use it because it combines two things I love - making lists and talking about myself. Here we go!

A is for age: I'm 30ish and as long as I'm closer to 30 than I am to 40, I'll remain so.

B is for breakfast today: Greek yogurt with blueberries and two slices of turkey bacon. 

C is for currently craving: A girl's night out. I've been pretty humdrum lately, could use some fun and drinks with some of my favorite ladies.

D is for dinner tonight: I'm in the first phase of the 17 Day Diet so just protein and veggies and fruit are allowed. I'm eating tilapia with spinach and a romaine salad with tomatoes, bell peppers and onions tossed with olive oil.

E is for favorite type of exercise: Shopping. It totally counts as cardio.

F is for an irrational fear: Christopher Walken. He creeps me out so freaking much I can't even watch any of scenes in Hairspray.

G is for gross food: Eggs. Boiled, fried, scrambled, poached, Benedicted...all gross. I prefer my eggs as an ingredient in something else. Like cupcakes.

H is for hometown: Long Beach, CA -  home of Cameron Diaz and Snoop Dogg. 

I is for something important: Flossing. Amirite?

J is for current favorite jam: I have been really into musicals lately and have been listening to the soundtrack from the new musical Once, based on the film. So Falling Slowly which is one of my favorite songs ever as sung by Steve Kazee and Cristin Milioti.

K is for kids: I have one. She's awesome.

L is for current location: My bed. I do most of my writing and computer related activities from bed. I need to invest in one of those cushions that prop you up, my posture has definitely suffered from my choice in writing nooks. 

My writing spot. Yes that is John Green's Tumblr page...I can feel your judgment.

M is for the most recent way you spent money: IRS, my car, various bills, and Mother's Day funsies with my mother and the princess. The last 4 weeks have been very expensive.

N is for something you need: A winning lottery ticket and/or the ability to apparate.

O is for occupation: Director of a small company 

P is for pet peeve: Sunglasses indoors. I'm looking at you Diddy.

Q is for a quote: "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde

R is for random fact about you: Until today, I had no idea what rhubarb was. Now that I know...I remain unconvinced it should be a thing.

S is for favorite healthy snack: Fruit - especially grapes or strawberries

T is for favorite treat: Cupcakes

Red velvet cupcakes with pink icing from my 30ish birthday brunch.

.

U is for something that makes you unique: I really really REALLY hate massages and do not find them at all relaxing


V is for favorite vegetable: Asparagus. I really enjoy the taste for some reason.

W is for today’s workout: No shopping today, maybe I'll do my ab roller before bed.

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Quite a few. I'm incredibly clumsy.

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: My homemade Mother's Day card from the princess.

Z is for your time zone: Pacific.

Yay for surveys! If you complete this let me know in the comments...other than talking about myself, reading about other people is one of my favorite activities!

Wrangling the What Ifs

Find out all about BMM here.

Monday: May I tell you something about writing?

Does anyone remember that episode of Friends where Rachel had to be re-trained as a waitress at Central Perk? She moaned and groaned about it and Joey and Chandler told her she needed to get “the fear”, quit, and try and get her dream job in the fashion industry. It ended up working out very well for her and also signified the beginning of the end of her relationship with Ross. (The first time.) (Did I mention I'm a bit of a Friends fan?)

When it comes to writing, I am in full possession of “the fear”. I have mentioned the fear of showing my work to anyone in the past, but it really goes so much deeper than that. I’m ultimately afraid of failure, but I’m also afraid of the steps I need to take to move ahead.

What if I finish my draft and no one wants to be my critique partner? Hello middle school flashbacks.

What if I find a critique partner and he or she hates my writing? What if this hypothetical hosebeast of a CP tells me I’m a hack and shouldn’t even be allowed to write birthday cards let alone books?

I am being perfectly serious when I tell you that these thoughts sometimes keep me up at night. (I also realize how ridiculous they are, but owning my ridiculousness is pretty much part of my charm.)

When I decided to take my writing seriously a few years ago, I never realized it would be this hard. In the past I've written purely for my own enjoyment, but now I feel so much pressure to be amazing and I’m afraid it’s a self imposed standard to which I will never be able to live up.

Now that you’re sufficiently bummed out…on to the bright side!

I know myself well enough to know that if I have a goal I want to accomplish, I need a plan.

In order to combat my fears of failure and ever present self doubt, I’m just going to keep on writing. I am devoting 2 hours of daily BIC time (that’s butt in chair for those not in the know), to finishing up this draft. I am currently a little over half way finished with the draft itself, and I’m trying to write 1000-1500 words a day. My goal is to have it a completed draft by June 30^th.

After I finish this draft, I’ll start revising and put out feelers among my writing friends and Twitter for a critique partner.

Despite my near genius plan, I’m still very much afraid. Now I’m just choosing to channel that fear towards something positive.

Motivation if there ever was such a thing.

My friend and future bestselling author Melissa Landers always says that you can’t win if you don’t play…so I’m playing. My knees are knocking together, I’m a bit nauseous, and I have no doubt that there's some serious stress eating in my immediate future, but I’m playing.

For All the Mothers...

If you breast feed or bottle feed

If you stay at home, work from home, or have a full-time job outside the home

If you attachment parent or have a robust Venezuelan nanny

If your kid sleeps through the night or is awake every hour on the hour

If you make your own organic baby food or buy it when it's on sale at Target

If you never let your kids watch TV or if you anticipate an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba the same way you anticipate a shoe sale

If you make perfect healthy lunches or you almost always forget when it's your turn to bring snack

If you are full of boundless energy or so exhausted you need a caffeine drip in order to function

If your house is always spotless or you have a sink full of dishes and a carpet full of dust bunnies

If your daughter's hair bow always matches her outfit or you're pretty sure your son went to school in the same pants he wore yesterday

If your kid makes straight As or needs a math tutor

If you always leave the house perfectly dressed or you live in a uniform of sweatpants and t-shirt...

Pour yourself a glass of champagne

Give yourself a break

And have a Happy bleeping Mother's Day.

Because you absolutely deserve it.

Love,

The Princess and Me

Dirty Pop

Find out all about BMM here

Wednesday: May I ask something about you?

The last few months have been incredibly hectic for me. It seems like every aspect of my life, work, the princess, home, writing, friends, family were in some sort of conspiracy to drive me absolutely mental.

I don't have many strategies for feeling less stressed or calming the freak down. I really just wait until I've worked myself up into an emotional frenzy, then I turn on Spotify, hit play, and turn on the shuffle. Sometimes I'll come across a song that instantly lifts my mood or will make me want to ugly cry. Doesn't matter, something about the unpredictability of what's coming next makes me feel better. 

For example, a few days ago I was trying to write but I had another problem that's been plaguing my mind for weeks and I just couldn't concentrate. I turned to my trusty Spotify and hit shuffle on the "What's New" playlist and randomly the first song was "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction. I had never even heard of this band before, but hearing the catchy, upbeat lyrics made all nostalgic for my younger boy band loving days and pretty soon I was bopping along. I actually hit repeat and heard it again and by the second chorus I immediately began to feel better and nodded emphatically because apparently I never realized that I don't know I'm beautiful, and that's what makes me beautiful. 

I wrote around 1800 words after that. Go figure.

So my question to you is, what's your choice method of stress relief? Does music alter your mood the way it does mine? Do you have a go-to feel good song? Are you judging my taste in music just a little? What's a guilty pleasure type song you enjoy? Don't be shy, can't be any worse than mine!

A bit of wisdom...(3)

Source

Today's bit of wisdom was brought to you today by the amazing Robin Benway. 

Poetry unintentional.

Princess Style Politics

Friday on Blog Me MAYbe is all about sharing something funny. I was a bit stuck when trying to come up with an appropriate anecdote, then I remembered my one huge source of constant comedic fodder, the princess.

A few days ago, the princess told me bright and early that she saw a picture of Barack Obama in a magazine. She always refers to the president by his first and last name, much like I do John Green. Anyway, she started to tell me all about this magazine featuring Barack Obama and how it also showed the guy who's going to run against him in "the race." She said these words with the reverence the presidential election is supposed to inspire.

When I asked who the guy running against Barack Obama was, she said she didn't know his name, but he was tan, had poofy grey hair, and was very old. Given these parameters, I pulled up a picture of Mitt Romney on my phone (just an educated guess given recent events), and she confirmed that it was indeed him. Then, she looked up at me with a grave expression and said, "Mom, I really don't want that guy to be the president." When I asked why, she got a contemplative look on her face and said, "he just looks really creepy. Like he doesn't really love his wife or something."

The sound you just heard was me choking from withholding uncontrollable, snorting laughter.

I neither confirmed nor denied the princess' convictions about the status of Mr. Romney's relationship with his wife as it's none of my beeswax, but merely nodded (while still holding back laughter) and told her that her reasoning was as good as any, and it's always good to stay informed.

"I'm going to vote for Barack Obama*," she responded. "You should too, Mom...he's an awesome president AND he has a dog." I assured her that given her firm endorsement, I most definitely would.

I think it is painfully obvious that if international pop superstardom is not in her future, she could definitely have a career in cable news. Watch out Rachel Maddow!




*The princess and I wish to inform you that any and all political views expressed on this post are solely our opinions and shared for entertainment purposes only.   Furthermore, I'm sure that Mr. Romney does indeed love his wife.

Everyday I'm Tumblr-in'

I'm not sure if you all know this, but I've had a Tumblr account for about 2 years now. For whatever reason, I didn't really "get" Tumblr until recently and now I have a bit of an addiction. Sometimes my Tumblr feed is the best part of my day.

A while ago, one of my favorite bloggers Busy Bee Lauren started a feature on her blog, called Tumblr Thursdays, and I loved seeing all the different images she would post. Since I'm incredibly original, I figured I would keep her good idea going and share some of my favorite Tumblr'd images with you but on Wednesday, so the fact that I'm stealing borrowing her idea isn't as blatant.

What are some of your favorites? Do you have a Tumblr? Feel free to follow mine here!

Fangirly Confessions

The writing community is all abuzz today with a blogging initiative started by Sara McClung called Blog Me MAYbe. I'm taking it as a kick in the butt to post more regularly, and I think it's obvious that I need all the motivational help I can get!  I sort of decided to participate at the 11th hour because procrastination is pretty much my modus operandi, but better late than never right?

Read more about Blog Me MAYbe here.

Tuesdays topic is to tell you a little something about myself...so feel free to follow along.

From the time I was 10 years old and taped my first picture of Johnny Depp ripped from the pages of Sassy Magazine, I have been a professional fangirl. There were pictures of pretty boys all over my room through most of my formative years, and at one time, even a framed shrine of Will Smith. If there is a pretty boy who is famous...I'm probably currently in love with him or was at some point in the past.

My crowing fangirl achievement is probably when on a May night, three years ago at the dawn of Twitter's popularity, I had a conversation via tweet with John Mayer. Now, before you go all Judgey de la Turnupyournose at the fact that I am incredibly die hard in my love for the Mayer, please to be informed that the heart wants what it wants and it will not be denied.

The origin of the tweet is fairly blurry at this point. All I remember is something about him wanting to talk to his "beautiful black female fans" and I tweeted back something to the effect of "I knew there was a reason I stayed up so late! xoxo even though I'm more cute/adorable than beautiful," and this dear reader, was his response.

My old Twitter handle is blurred out as it contains my last name, but it's still me.

So, um, obviously I died. I also get more mileage out this tweet than you can possibly imagine. It is one of the greatest joys of my life to show it to people for the very first time and hear their appropriate reaction. The best one of all I received was from a group of girls I met at John Mayer's concert...the fangirling is legendary.

The funny thing is since that tweet, I seem to have incredibly good juju when it comes to the celebrity tweetback! I've received tweets from so many of my favorite authors (including John Green), and one in particular from Andrea Barber, (TV's Kimmy Gibbler) during the Grammys.

I have also danced with Ellen, which has nothing to do with Twitter, but is still pretty freaking awesome.

Anyone else have a fangirl story they care to share? Feel free as this is obviously a safe place!