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| Find out all about BMM here. |
Does anyone remember that episode of Friends where Rachel
had to be re-trained as a waitress at Central Perk? She moaned and groaned
about it and Joey and Chandler told her she needed to get “the fear”, quit, and
try and get her dream job in the fashion industry. It ended up working out very
well for her and also signified the beginning of the end of her relationship with Ross. (The first time.) (Did I mention I'm a bit of a Friends fan?)
When it comes to writing, I am in
full possession of “the fear”. I have mentioned the fear of showing my work to
anyone in the past, but it really goes so much deeper than that. I’m ultimately afraid of failure, but I’m also afraid of the steps I
need to take to move ahead.
What if I finish my draft and no one wants to be my critique
partner? Hello middle school flashbacks.
What if I find a critique partner and he or she hates my writing? What if this hypothetical hosebeast of a CP tells me I’m a hack and shouldn’t even be allowed
to write birthday cards let alone books?
I am being perfectly serious when I tell you that these
thoughts sometimes keep me up at night. (I also realize how ridiculous they
are, but owning my ridiculousness is pretty much part of my charm.)
When I decided to take my writing seriously a few years ago,
I never realized it would be this hard. In the past I've written purely for my own
enjoyment, but now I feel so much pressure to be amazing and I’m afraid it’s a self imposed standard to which I will never be able to live up.
Now that you’re sufficiently bummed out…on to the bright side!
I know myself well enough to know that if I have a goal I
want to accomplish, I need a plan.
In order to combat my fears of failure and ever present self
doubt, I’m just going to keep on writing. I am devoting 2 hours of daily BIC
time (that’s butt in chair for those not in the know), to finishing up this
draft. I am currently a little over half way finished with the draft itself,
and I’m trying to write 1000-1500 words a day. My goal is to have it a completed
draft by June 30th.
After I finish this draft, I’ll start revising and put out
feelers among my writing friends and Twitter for a critique partner.
Despite my near genius plan, I’m still very much afraid. Now I’m just
choosing to channel that fear towards something positive.
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| Motivation if there ever was such a thing. |
My friend and future bestselling author Melissa Landers
always says that you can’t win if you don’t play…so I’m playing. My knees are
knocking together, I’m a bit nauseous, and I have no doubt that there's some serious stress eating in my immediate future, but I’m playing.
DUDE. Preach on my dear. I'm right there with ya.
ReplyDeletePS. I will totes be a CP for you when you need one. And I SWEAR I won't be a DB with my comments either. :)
Future bestselling author, eh? From your lips to God's ears! ;) I'm so glad you're resolving to "play." Nothing about publishing is easy--not writing, or agent hunting, or subs, or revising, or the inevitable nasty reviews on Goodreads--but look at the rewards! Think about how good it will feel to hold your own book in your hands. Totally worth it. You can do this. Rock on!
ReplyDeleteI have used "the fear" to quit jobs and to convince many a friend to do the same--one of the great takeaways from Friends.
ReplyDeleteI think that another important part of being willing to play is also the recognition that if we lose--that's okay. I am a big fan of embracing failure. Failure is a part of success; any really successful person will tell you that. Even if those fears you write about above come true...it won't be the end. It's all part of the journey, and everything that happens to you is an important part of getting you to where you were meant to go.
Ok, that's enough blog comment preaching/pep talking for one day (:
I have the same fears. Even though I'm a copywriter and a journalist, which both require a lot of writing, I worry that I won't be good at writing a book. And like you said, it's a lot harder than I thought!
ReplyDeleteMelissa's advice has seriously changed my life.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Good luck with the rest of your draft. I know all about the fear, and when you push past it, it's worth it.
ReplyDelete